Reminisce

I grew up in a kampung. Wooden houses with attap roofs. We, kids of the kampung would spend most of our days outdoors. There were trees to climb, chickens and ducks to chase, places to explore.

I remember my favourite tree to climb. It wasn't very high and had broad, wide spread branches. At the base of the tree is a soft "landing" patch - it's actually sawdust thrown there frequently and over time it became a nice soft patch for us to land on. The tree was behind the saw millers house, hence the sawdust. He'd pile up the sawed up planks beside his house and we used to hide there with our toy guns, waiting to "fire" at our friends.

There was this little pond behind someone's house. We used to chase the ducks who swam there. And then it was off to play more hide and seek or just run around the "padang" nearby.

There were no traditional Malay houses in my kampung but there were some not too far away and I think I've been in one before. Anyway, I've always been intrigued by the unique structure and wouldn't mind checking one out again.

Unfortunately, kids these days don't have the luxury of such experiences. It's become too dangerous to play outside or go exploring. And we've been invaded by concrete jungles. To explore nature, we'd probably have to pay to explore the zoo or butterfly farm, etc. Luckily for Sean and Aidan, there's a kampung nearby and we go to a warung there for breakfast sometimes. There are lots of chickens, ducks, cats, and all sorts of trees to see.

My parents love to teach Sean and Aidan about nature and when they go for walks through this kampung and the surrounding oil palm estate, they'll bring back rubber seeds or an oil palm kernel or two. Once on the way to the beach, they stopped by a "sawah padi" to show the boys "where rice came from".

So....what do kids do these days? A whole thriving industry has emerged to help parents with that question (and to lighten their pockets too!). Toys are so "canggih manggih" these days and arts and crafts are all the rage. I tried arts & crafts with my boys recently. I taught them how to make a letter holder using paper plates. They had such fun and hung it up proudly for mummy and daddy to "post letters to". And post we did. I opted for cute notes and stick figure drawings (hey, art ain't my strong point!) while Jason took the easy way out and printed photos of him and the boys and dropped that into their letter holders.

Yeah, if you put your mind and energy to it, there's lots kids can do these days...indoors. As for me, whenever I pass a small kampung road, I can't resist the urge to explore. But most of the time I don't, unless Jason's with me. The world really isn't what it used to be. *sigh*

Cancer

Someone said to me, "Cancer is like the common cold these days." She's right. The dreaded disease is common these days and its taking lives "like nobody's business".

Early this month, a family friend went home to be with the Lord. She had cancer. Last week, another family friend died of cancer. I lost my beloved "kung-kung" (grandpa) and my dad lost his brother within few months of each other in 2005 - both died of lung cancer.

It makes me mad and it makes me sad. And also scared. Tales of how painful it is and the thought of how it tears one from loved ones scares the hell out of me. And there's no cure. Doctors can't figure out what makes a cell mutate and turn cancerous. The best bet is early detection and treatment they say. And they say that science is progressing all the time and they are working furiously for a cure. But nothing in this world is ever 100% sure or foolproof. The only hope we have is Jesus.

So, yeah, I hate cancer. And I pray it will never take me or anymore of my loved ones in its claws of death.

Confessions of a bookworm

I have a thing for the written word. I just love to read. Even labels on skincare, makeup or toiletries that I buy. Of course I love books. I come from a family of bookworms. We have to sneak books into my home. Dad or my brothers would bring a book home by hiding it in their bag but the rest of us know something's up when they disappear for sometime (to read la). Then, they'll hide the book so that we can't find it and we'll try to find it and read it when they're not around. Many a time there were exclamations of, "Who took my book?!" There'll be innocent expressions all around and giggles when the culprit was unmasked. And then the quest to get the book back begins. Threats fly and forgotten I.O.U.s or misbehaviour dregded up all in the valiant quest for the book. It's fun! It's unique to us and we treasure it.

Of course we'll all fight to be the next in line to read the book. Since I became a mum, I've been unfairly pushed to the last spot on the waiting list by my brothers. Imagine that! They all say the same thing - that I take "forever" to read a book so I might as well be last. Oh, the insult! I remind them that I used to be a fast reader (why, I finished SHOGUN in one day! Of course, I had a headache after that.) and that now I have kids to care for and housework to do so I don't have the luxury of curling up with a book anytime I want to. But I've resigned myself to my spot on the list. *sigh* Mum doesn't get involved in all these because she doesn't read the type of books we read but she laughs at our "book-battles".

When I was in primary school, I started reading the Encyclopedia of Britannica. I found the stories and articles fascinating. I can still remember a lot of what I read in those volumes. Strange that I cannot remember what I read in school books! haha! *sigh*

I raise Sean and Aidan to love books too. My dad - ambitious man - started a shapes & colors book with Sean when he was just 4 months old! I read to him before his naps & bedtime and from about a year old onwards, he'd refuse to sleep unless I read his favourite books to him, several times. Now, both boys would grab a book before bed and when they wake and harrass us to read to them. They have quite a collection of books between them. Many of the books are about trucks/machines since Sean is crazy about them and Aidan has followed in his footsteps. In my family, Sean is regarded as the authority on trucks. He knows the names of almost every truck/machine on the road and even the names of most of the parts. And they've got the cutest Bible ever (a gift from my bro, Daniel). It's a Toddler's Bible - very short interpretations of Bible stories and very, very cute illustrations.

Is it natural for people who love to read to want to write? I've dreamed of writing for a living but I don't think I'm good enough. Thinking of taking a writing course if I can find the time and the money. Who knows? I may see my name in print some day.

STORAGE!

A place for everything & everything in its place.

I wish!

*sigh*

Darkness overtakes the earth

The recent Nurin tragedy. The many unsolved cases of children brutally murdered. The 2 siblings who saw their mum murdered. They were only 4 and 6 years old and had just lost their father a few months ago (he committed suicide).

I can't breathe. My heart aches. My mind begs to go numb. I get nightmares. All this mindless, evil, violence. The pain the victims suffered. All the pain it leaves behind. Lives forever damaged.

I am afraid for my kids. My precious boys. I am afraid for everyone I love.

God help us all.

Father & Son Talk

I don't know how other fathers talk to their 3+ year olds but a couple of hours ago, this conversation between Jason (who was tired) and Sean took place while they were playing.

Jason: Daddy can't think la.
Sean: Why?
Jason: Brain jam already.
Sean: Oh....battery weak already la!

Now, is that the kinda conversation you'd hear in any Malaysian home? Sometimes I think we may be a little weird. Whatever. As I've said before, kids say the darnest things!

How to escape nap time....

Sean & Aidan have a bed each. On either side of our bed. It's hard enough getting them to take their afternoon naps - they'd want to play instead - separate beds is a must. Last Friday, Sean came up with a bright idea - "Aidan! Come & sleep beside me!" - no doubt a new scheme of his to escape nap time.

Sure enough, the two of them giggled and wiggled and did not sleep. Jason & I were cross, of course and scolded them but they did look so cute together that we got the camera and took a few shots.

I see....

We bought Aidan a pair of sunglasses recently. He'd been trying to grab Sean's, so it was time he had his own. Of course, he was so taken by it. He put it on and didn't want to take it off. One night, I was bringing him home and he still had the sunglasses on. I asked him, "Can you see anything ar? So dark."

He replied, "I see....dark."

Aidan's just begun to talk not many months ago and his vocabulary and grasp of English is improving by the day. So, I was really amused that he understood what I said and replied the way he did.

Sean was pleased that Aidan has his own sunglasses. I caught them standing in front of the TV (it was not switched on), admiring their reflection. haha!


Cool dudes!

Fish Leg?

I was having dinner with Aidan beside me. He looked over and saw a fried fish on my plate. He happily pointed to the fish & said "Fish, fish". Then he pointed to the tail and said something I didn't quite catch. He repeated the word and pointed to his leg. Then it hit me! He said, "Leg". Not knowing that it's called a "tail", he pointed to the fish's tail and said, "leg!" haha! So cute.

Pictorial (May-July 2007)

Superman & his son :) A few minutes later, Superman zzz too but I didn't manage to get that shot.


Jason & his boys. See the resemblance?



The boys sometimes wear helmets and zip around the house on their "bikes".


At Ikano. These car-trolleys were a great blessing. Kept the boys happily occupied leaving us free to browse around without having to run after or carry them. Wish shopping centres in M'cca have these too.


Taken at Pantai Puteri just last Saturday. Aidan's first time at the beach since he was 4 mths old. He wouldn't step on the beach without shoes and wouldn't go near the water.


Sean with his new pair of jeans. He was so taken with it. He looks really grown up & bergaya in it. How do u like this pose? Can he model for Baby Guess or Osh Kosh BGosh? :)


Of course, we dressed Aidan in jeans too. He's using Sean's old pair.


Aidan's new look. It's called Smart-Cheeky. :)


The boys love to "help"out when I sweep or mop. Notice the Crocs on their feet? They love 'em! Imitation ones la.


No, it isn't Frodo & Samwise. Just Sean & Aidan enjoying cereal rings.


Aidan just loves to hug his Kor-Kor.


At Sunday school. Sean just started attending. Aidan tags along (and enjoys the snacks!). Here they're supposed to be doing some colouring. Couldn't resist the photo opp.

VeggieTales

Sean & Aidan discovered VeggieTales. Well, they've heard the songs some time back but this week, they saw the VCD for the first time. And they love it! It's 2 stories about Love Your Neighbour. They loved the songs and especially this little segment in between the stories called Silly Songs With Larry.

Larry here is Larry the Cucumber. The lovable dufus. He sings the song, "Where Is My Hairbrush?" Sean just loves it! He finds it so funny. Aidan will clap at almost every song.

Now, if I sing the VeggieTales theme song, both boys will start giggling. Yeah, since becoming a mum, my repertoire of songs have been...interesting. haha!

I'm a TRAINER

Yup, I'm a Trainer. For Microsoft. Haha...sounds so canggih, huh?

After a 3 year hiatus, I went back to work. Part-time. God blessed me with this job as a Trainer for the Microsoft Unlimited Potential Program. It's a Community Outreach program where Microsoft gives grants to NGOs and works with them to open CTCs (Community Technology Centres. Basically a venue with PCs la) so that the underserved can come and get PC lessons at really affordable prices.

One of those NGOs is YWCA Malaysia. So, I'm hired by YWCA Melaka to teach IT lessons and to run the program for them (Trainer is the label given by Microsoft. Just means IT Teacher la.)

What's great about this job is that I get to set the timetable and each course is about a month long only. This is really an answer to prayer cos I can't work 9-5 what with caring for Sean & Aidan.

I started last month and have taught 2 classes of Computer Fundamentals (Basic Word, Excel and Internet) to housewives and Senior Citizens (we take in anyone above 17 years of age). I was really nervous having never taught before, much less IT lessons and to adults! But it went well. I made mistakes along the way but I've been reassured by my "bosses" that it's normal and to learn from it and improve.

Now, I'm looking for the next batch of students. I get paid each time I finish teaching a class. So, have to work hard at bringing in students.

Amongst the housewives I taught were 8 Malay ladies. You can imagine the difficulty of teaching IT in English and BM but I managed rather well....campur aduk la. Not Dewan Pustaka kinda BM but hey, they understood me, that's all that matters.

During the lesson on using a search engine, I saw one of them searching for recipes. She found one Asam Pedas recipe and was copying it to her exercise book. I teased her about it, said that I like Asam Pedas and if she wants to continue copying recipes, she must cook some Asam Pedas for me. Lo and behold, she did just that! And that day, my mum cooked Asam Pedas as well. Double whammy!

Quite a number of the students were first time PC users. I had to be really patient as they struggled with the mouse, opening a file/folder, double clicking, right click, etc. Things I took forgranted having used the PC for many years.

I'm really glad I got this job. It feels good to get out of the house and do something on my own. Juggling the kids and this job hasn't been easy but my mum & hubby have been overwhelmingly helpful & supportive. Can't do it without them.

I'll blog more about my job later and maybe add photos too.

p.s. YWCA - Young Women's Christian Association

Change Programme!

There's this thing I do sometimes, with Sean. I'd look him in the eye and say, "Who is it mummy loves?" He'll answer, "Sean & Aidan!" and I'd hug or tickle him.

I asked that question again two nights ago and this time his answer was, "Sean". Before I could say anything, he quickly added, "Mummy love Sean. Daddy love Aidan."

Jason who was with us, asked, "Eh why like that?"

And Sean replied, "Change programme!"

The continuing saga of Sean's funny lines

Sean just keeps sprouting funny ideas and lines.

He was not watching the TV so I wanted to shut it off. I said, "I'm shutting off the TV, save electricity." He replied, "I can buy electricity. I have money in my coin box." :)

(Incidentally, this coin box of his is quite magical. The few dollars in coins it contains supposedly can buy an Avanza, cargo pants for my mum, lots of toys, and now, electricity! haha!)

The other day, my dad took Sean out for a spin in his Kancil. When they got home, Sean pestered my dad to bring him to the playground...in the Kancil. My dad prefered to walk there. Sean said, "I can drive. You just start the engine and I'll drive." hah!

Later that day, my dad (tired out from playing with Sean and Aidan) told Sean he's going to his room to take a nap. Not long after, my dad came down. Sean was surprised and said, "Eh? I thought you were supposed to be sleeping?"

I guess these "Sean-tales" in itself isn't really funny but what's funny is that a 3 year + old boy is saying them. Kids these days...

I am Mi-Mi

At long last, Aidan calls me "Mi-Mi". I got home late from work last Friday, all tired out. Aidan wrapped his arms around my leg, looks up at me and in that manja voice of his, called me "Mi-Mi" for the very first time. I didn't feel so tired after that. :)

He started calling Jason, "Dadee" a day or two after that. Now, he delights in calling out "Daddee come!" or just "Mi-Mi!" out loud. He's quite a bossy lil feller too. Orders my mum about, "Por Por come!" Wants my dad to sit next to him, "Keng-Keng (can't pronounce Kung Kung yet) come!" and pats the floor next to him. Or it's, "Kor Kor read!" and waves the Bob Builder storybook at Sean. Sean will usually "read" it to him la. Sean will turn each page and point to the pictures and will recite the story from memory. It looks like he's actually reading! haha! And Aidan will sit quietly next to him and listen. So cute! Am trying to get it on camera.

It has been 2 weeks

That was what Sean said to his dad two nights ago. We were in our car on the way home after visiting my in-laws when Sean suddenly said, "Daddy, my leg pain." His dad replied, "Oh, is it?" To which Sean very solemnly said, "It has been two weeks." We were really surprised because usually he'd say, "Ya, 2 weeks edi la."

A few minutes later, Jason said to me that his neck felt stiff. Before I could reply, Sean said, "You take cold ubat, Daddy. It will push the pain to the stomach." Where did that come from?!! He knows Jason takes medication for colds and its called cold tabs (tablets). So that's where the "cold ubat" came from but the other bit? Kid's say the darndest things! :)

About Mosquitoes & Potty Training 101

Sean came up with a weird and funny idea on anti-mosquito repellent and "potty-instructions" today.

It was morning and there were mosquitoes buzzing around. I was irritated by them and Sean came to me and said, "Mummy, so many mosquitoes flying here and there la. Here, there, bite. Must use anti-mos (that's the repellent. It's a lotion.) and then when the mosquitoes bite, they died (he's still getting a feel of grammar!). And then they grow and eat vegetables!"

Later, we thought Aidan wanted to poop. I rushed him to the potty and took off his napkin and tried to get him to sit on the potty. Now, I'm having difficulty potty training him. The lil guy just won't sit on the pot when it's time to go but he'll sit on it at other times just for the fun of it! *sigh* This potty is shaped like a chair with handles at the sides. A proper "throne". haha!

Anyway, there I was trying to get Aidan to sit on the pot and Sean comes rushing in and said, "Aidan, I'll teach you to sit on the pot. First you sit down and then you landed and adjust and then berak!"

haha! The landed means when the bum touches the potty seat and adjust means adjust to sit comfortably!

I'm Wa-Wa (?!)

Aidan began speaking a few months ago. Simple words like "tuck" (TRUCK), "there" and "ta-dah!" (ok, so that's not really a word). But these few weeks, it seems like he's suddenly got a speech-surge and he's sprouting many new words, sometimes a new word a day. He's even begun putting 2 words together like "make tuck" (when he wants us to fix a toy truck) or "want go".

The very first person he could call was my mum. His manja "Por Por" earned him many kisses from my mum. Then he started calling Sean, "Kor Kor". Then it was my dad-in-law's turn: "pa" or "ah pa" and sometimes a proper "grandpa" and recently, my mum-in-law: "ma ma".

There were a few times when he said "Daddy".

And me? I'm "Wa-Wa". Yep, that's what the cheeky little feller calls me. Not once has he called me "mummy". His yells for "Wa-Wa" comes loud & clear when he wants me. *sigh*

So maddening.

Sean's funny liners

Sean has always amused us with the things he says. Here are a few of the latest funnies:

Sean always pesters my dad the very minute my dad gets home from work. These days he pesters my dad to draw trucks for him. So one day, as he was pestering my dad....

Me: Sean! Let kong-kong breathe a bit!
Not to be stopped, Sean continues walking behind my dad and was quiet for all of 2 seconds and then...
Sean: Kong-kong, you breathe edi ar?

Sean was excited about seeing Tom & Jerry (the mascots) on stage in Mahkota Parade but when he got there, it was not time for them to appear, so he was disappointed. He came to me and said, "Tom & Jerry cabut edi!"

And later, we drove pass the huge banner advertising the Tom & Jerry promo and Sean said, "Mummy, that cloth (the banner), they put there oni but Tom & Jerry not there. Cabut edi!"

Will add in more as they pop to mind... And will be adding new photos soon.

Personal DNA

Hmmm....an interesting peek into my psyche. I don't agree with half of it. Maybe cos I took the test at 2a.m. plus! Or maybe cos I'm a pessimist. haha!

Dare to see what makes me tick? Click on the link below.



Full report:
My Personal Dna Report

My Joys

Wake, wake, another new day
Lists running through my mind
Kids running here and there
A happy balance of work & care?
Tough being a mum
But I wouldn't do anything else
Wouldn't miss a smile, a word, a hug
Two precious gifts from God
Two very different little boys
And many different emotions each day
Wash, clean, care, prepare
And dream?
And then the music's on
And something in me stirs
When music plays
Something rises and I can't help but sing
And I soar (as I "roar"? haha!)
Oh Lord, how You've blessed me!

Smart Wonderland

We can't go to Jaya Jusco without a visit to its playland - Smart Wonderland. Sean just loves the place! Especially the ball-room (haha!). One has to climb a bit to get to this place full of multi-colored plastic balls. The climb itself is fun for a kid, I suppose.

The photos below were taken last month.


Sean jumps in. Camera caught him in mid-air. Cool!


Jason swooshes Sean around. The kid loves it!


I love this photo!


Finally! A photo of Aidan & I. (That's Aidan's "camera face".)


Aidan enjoys "driving" around.

Whims & Fancies

Today, I was just thinking
About everything & nothing
As I usually do.
And I realised that I'm happiest
reading a book,
singing my heart out,
writing down whatever whimsical thing I think of.

But sometimes being happy just isn't enough
There's pressure to make it count
Sure, reading a book's fine,
when I have the time.

But what about singing and writing?
Can I make something of it?
Can I be a writer?
A singer?

Wow! Just the very thought!

It makes sense doesn't it?
If I can make something of it,
I can justify indulging my time & effort in it.
And not feel guilty wasting time that can be better spent
Earning money to make ends meet?

How complicated can life get?
That I feel bad in indulging in such simple pleasures?

I guess I just want things in neat, pretty packages
If I can turn my passion into my occupation,
I'd be tackling my needs & wants with one blow.

Alas! Tis not to be.
For lil old me am but ordinary.
Not unique, not gifted
Just ordinary.

Not a lousy singer,
just not a fantastic one.
Not too bad at writing,
just not good enough to be a writer.

And so, it ended -
- another bout of day dreaming -
as it usually does,
with a painful jolt to reality.

Aidan's 1st birthday

Aidan turned one years old on 19 December 2006. I looked at him and found it hard to believe that the little baby I cared for entirely on my own (for the first few months) was now a toddler. We had a party for him on the 15th of December.

That day didn't start well. I had contracted a lady to clean house for me that morning. Jason went to pick her up but she did not show up. Couldn't get through to her handphone either. I had called her more than once to make arrangements & remind her. We were very frustrated. So, we had to clean house ourselves. It's not that we could not do it. We just wanted less on our plate so that we wouldn't be so tired & stressed (lesson learnt from pass birthday parties).

And then there was the food. The last birthday party we held, there wasn't enough food. So, we didn't want to make the same mistake this time. Unfortunately, the people who cooked the food were a bit too generous and we ended up with so much leftover. Managed to give quite a lot of it away but we still had to eat the same food for the following 2 days. haha!

Aidan enjoyed himself running after food (yup, that's Aidan) and paddling his new three-wheeler ala the Flintstones. When it came to cake cutting time, he left his mark. I was carrying him and got too close to the cake. He took a swipe at it...with his foot! I had to cut that portion off. Everyone was laughing. It's just so Aidan. Always curious and getting his hands (and feet) into things.

After almost everyone had gone home, we cleaned up with the help of a very, dear friend. We were so tired by then. Aidan was tired too and Jason put him in the "sarong" to sleep. I was in the kitchen then and was shocked to hear a crash followed by Aidan's cry of pain. Somehow the spring holder that the "sarong" was attached to gave way & Aidan crashed to the floor. Poor fella was crying hard for a while but there weren't any injuries, thank God. What a way to end his first birthday party.




The birthday boy on his brand new tricycle.


Sean, up close & personal.


The toe-test; the most stringent test in baking history. Haha!

One of the things I miss the most

You know how a particular smell or song can trigger a memory? Well, I experienced something like that about 2 months ago. Only, it wasn't just one song & it triggered more than a memory.

We were visiting a church that Sunday. During worship, the songs they sang weren't new but by the second song, there was just something in the atmosphere that triggered such a longing in me. It was like someone pulled apart heavy curtains & windows to let sunshine & fresh air in. I could worship freely. I felt such liberty in that place. The longing I felt was akin to a dry well being filled again. I remembered what it was like to experience such worship and wanted it again.

And then several ladies up front took up timbrels with long ribbons and danced. When I saw the ribbons in the air, the longing deepened. I used to dance with a timbrel too. Many years ago. The songs, the timbrels...it brought back what I've missed so dearly - the worship experience in an atmosphere of freedom.