Death

A morbid title huh? But yeah, death's been on my mind more often than I'd like these past 2 years. Ever since I lost my beloved Ah Kong in 2006. Before that, I'd been pretty much "death proof" in that it hadn't touched me cos no one close to me had died. I'd witnessed people's pain as they've lost loved ones but I've never felt "it".

So, ever since Ah Kong went to Jesus, I'd had fears of losing more loved ones. I'd become more aware of our mortality....and of how "old" (they're actually not that old but y'understand) my parents are and that scares me. And I know, the day will come when they'll go home to Jesus and I'd be left here to grieve and miss them and honestly, I don't think I'd be able to handle it.

I worry for the safety of my husband as he travels to work on his motorbike. I'd never be one piece again if I lost him. And - all parents will agree - once I became a mum, I experienced not only joy but a whole new fear. Fear of anything bad happening to my precious babies. I agree with Nichole Nordeman on her album, BRAVE. She recorded it after the birth of her first child and it's in there somewhere, this fear for one's child and the need to be brave.

And then all the tragedies in the world these past years - Hurricane Katrina, the Earthquake in China where so many children died and most recently the terrible tragedy that befell Steven Curtis Chapman's family last May (they lost their youngest daughter in a tragic accident) - it's like a blinking neon light on this subject I've come to dread.

But I thank God for SCC and his family. As they walk thru this terrible valley, they've spoke up of the faith that has kept them breathing and they've shared this on Good Morning America and also, Larry King Live (it's on YouTube) this week (I don't think you can watch these interviews without crying).

I thank God for their courage to share in the midst of such pain and I've been redirected to my Father to whom I should share all my fears instead of letting them trouble or overwhelm me. For to be afraid of death is to make light of Jesus' sacrifice for me on the Cross of Calvary. To worry is to doubt his Word that He watches over us and that everything is in His Hands. We may not understand why things happen the way they do but I'm reminded that His ways are higher. As Mr. Chapman said in his song, God is God

God is God and I am not
I can only see a part of the picture He’s painting
God is God and I am man
So I’ll never understand it all
For only God is God

Amen