My Little Nook

Update on Jason's condition

2010-09-25T23:49:00.007+08:00

Liz:
Dear family & friends,

Jason went to UH again on 20 September. Sorry, for the delay in updating all of you. I realize that the updates have been lengthy and filled with medical jargon. I'm afraid this one will be the same because there are friends who just came to know about it and asked for information.

In the MRI above, there's this white longish oval shape at the C5. And beneath it, at the right side of the spinal cord, a thin, longish white shape. Those are the syrinx. The condition is known as syringomyelia. Here's how wikipedia defines syringomyelia:

"a generic term referring to a disorder in which a cyst or cavity forms within the spinal cord. This cyst, called a syrinx, can expand and elongate over time, destroying the spinal cord. The damage may result in pain, paralysis, weakness, and stiffness in the back, shoulders, and extremities. Syringomyelia may also cause a loss of the ability to feel extremes of hot or cold, especially in the hands. The disorder generally leads to a cape-like loss of pain and temperature sensation along the back and arms. Each patient experiences a different combination of symptoms. These symptoms typically vary depending on the extent and, often more critically, to the location of the syrinx within the spinal cord."

In Jason's case, his left arm is numbish and he's not able to feel hot and cold in that arm .

The MRI above shows a small, sort of roundish white circle (near the top of the MRI) at the T5. This is a blood clot caused by AVM. The wikipedia defines AVM :

"Arteriovenous malformation or AVM is an abnormal connection between veins and arteries, usually congenital."

Congenital means from birth. As I understand it, it's like the veins and arteries have their set 'pathways" but somehow when there's AVM, the veins or arteries may criss cross and that causes blood clots, and the docs believe, the syrinx above.

So, the UH docs are saying that the main cause is AVM.

The solution: The doc said that we can choose to leave the blood clot there and nothing might happen. However, IF it bursts, causing bleeding, the result can be catastrophic (since the clot is at T5, it may mean paralysis in the lower limbs).

Then there's also the syrinx. Leaving it might result in progression of the symptoms.

They are scheduling him for a spinal angiogram soon. They'll be able to see then, the exact location of the clot and syrinxs so that they can ascertain the level of risk in surgery.

Jason:
We believe that Jesus heals. His ministry on earth was not only to bring us to salvation, but to heal us (Luke 4:18). His crucifixion - He shed His blood for the forgiveness of our sins and to lift us from every curse; His body was bruised/broken/whipped that we might in turn receive healing (1 Peter 2:24). The Bible says it. We believe it. His Word shall come to pass. Last year, a prophet said that the devil wants to put me in a wheelchair but God will HEAL ME. We did not even know the cause of the numbness at that time. God sees all and knows all. We believe His Word.

In light of this, we have decided to look to Him 100% in faith and no longer to the doctors. Therefore, no more scans and tests. His Word is everlasting and all His promises are Yes and Amen! Pray and believe with us that the manifestation of His FINISHED WORK ON THE CROSS will come to pass SOON! Your prayers and your faith will mean much to us. In the Word, the faith of friends of the sick were commended upon by Jesus. In fact, Jesus was even amazed at one time by the faith of the centurion, whose SERVANT was sick, not him. Jesus healed the servant (Matthew 8). Your faith counts too!

Thank you for praying and believing with us. We cannot thank you enough for such support. It's good to know that we are not alone. We pray also that in all your efforts and faith, God will reward your fervency with blessings in abundance. He loves to bless!

We'll keep you updated as best we can.

Cutlery Racism?

2010-03-24T23:23:00.004+08:00

My hubby brought my attention to the pic above. It was in a local hypermart's brochure. We were....kinda perplexed. Chinese spoons? Really?! I remember it being popularly referred to as a soup spoon by locals. Apparently that could've been by my generation. Possibly, the current generation notices cutlery culture (for want of a better term) and hey, the Chinese are the ones using these spoons right? So Chinese Spoons la! Some may shout, Cutlery Racism!!! (LOL) But it's just a spoon. Peace.

Signs

2010-03-24T23:03:00.004+08:00

Sean is slowly but surely learning to read. Being the sensitive sort and afraid of failing, he's taken to quietly reading storybooks by himself rather than read out loud with me. The kindy he attends uses the phonic system and I do work with him on it at home too.

He surprised me this evening by grabbing pencil and paper and asking me for help writing a sentence. He's never done this before. This is what he wrote.

He saw that the cordless phone was not at its station and decided to make a sign and place it there. I was so proud of him.

Aidan was not to be left out and with pen and paper in hand also asked me for help. I was busy then and Sean helped him. This is the result.

Ok, so the grammar's off but I'm proud of the initiative and the fact that they worked together. :)

Atypical Aidan

2010-01-08T00:28:00.007+08:00

It was bedtime. The time when my kids sometimes churn out weird/funny thoughts and comments. Tonight it was from Aidan.

With his manja voice he said, "Good night mummy, sweet dreams, sleep tight! (his usual bedtime saying). Thank you mummy for letting us watch the concert CD. I love mummy. Sorry, I disobeyed you just now."

A pause. And then...

"How do you feel now that I've said sorry?"

Frankly, I didn't know how to feel. I was tired, still a bit upset with his disobedience, noted that his "I love mummy" was because he got to watch the concert CD, settling in on the apology when he caught me with that question.

Nary a dull moment with my two!

The homie and his bro.

Sean the man :)

Here's to everyone!

2009-12-22T22:31:00.002+08:00

click on the photo for a larger view

Revised & extended stories by Aidan Teh

2009-11-10T10:07:00.004+08:00

Last night, Aidan was having dinner and singing songs about fat sausages (go figure!) when he suddenly said, "Mummy! I have a story to tell you!" And so it began. Two super edited and extended versions of stories we know. No one can say the kid has no imagination! (Excuse the grammar though. The little tyke is only 4).

Baby Jesus (Version 2009. TOTALLY revised and err...upgraded)

"This is baby Jesus (draws in the air with his finger). And this - draws a square shape - is the hotel. One of the bad men came to find him but when he arrived, baby Jesus grow up already. And then He fight with the bad man until, until - pauses and dramatically does vertical shaking motions with his hands - until the temple came crashing down!"

Oh wow! Such talent! The ability to mesh Bible stories into one explosive, action packed masterpiece! Yes, we are in awe! LOL! On to the other story....

The Ant and the Bird (the super extended version. The version you know had the best bits snipped.)

"An ant was in the river. Drowning. A bird plucked a leaf and threw it on the ant! The ant climbed on the leaf and was saved. A man with a gun was going to shoot the bird but the ant bite him and the bird was saved!"

"What does this story teach you?" I asked.

"All about ants!" was his quick, confident reply. It was hard to choose between rolling my eyes and laughing out loud. Might burst a blood vessel if I tried both simultaneously, so I kept a composed smile on my face.

"And then! A dinosaur, a T-Rex came and grabbed the bird! The ant quickly bite the T-Rex until die!"

Before I could wrap my brain around the unexpected appearance of the dino,...

"An eagle came! The ant called the man to shoot the eagle! And then, and then - he got really excited, I can sense another brilliant cameo coming - a robot appeared! The ant and the man fight with the robot until it's destroyed!"

Aidan smiled with satisfaction. He's told awesome stories and he knows it. I was left gaping at the sheer genius (and audacity!) of the stories and I grabbed pen and paper and jot it down before my too-stunned-brain left out important details.

Don't you just wanna squish him in a geram-hug? And then worry how to disentangle the Bible stories back to its original, correct, albeit less action-packed version? No worries about the ant and the bird (some ant, huh?) though. It's time fables get a facelift.

The author-editor extraordinaire.

When I grow up, I wanna be...

2009-10-03T15:50:00.005+08:00

Most of us remember our childhood dreams. What we wanna be when we grow up. More often than not, those dreams change as we age and acquire new interests or new insights on life. I can't remember my childhood dreams. I put it down to sleep deprivation!

Anyway, the other day, Sean asked me (with a very serious expression), "Mummy what do u think I can be when i grow up?" "Anything you want, as long as you work at it," I replied. "3 of my friends in class wanna be policemen when they grow up." "What about you?" I asked. "Me? I wanna be...."

He paused and thought and I waited with bated breath. This is the first "I wanna be" conversation with my firstborn and it's so meaningful!

"I wanna be....Optimus Prime!" he said and burst into cheeky laughter.

*sigh* *Rips the page off the invisible book of nostalgia, crumples it and throws it away*

"This is my Autobot face."

Literally

2009-10-03T15:47:00.007+08:00

Children are so literal. Case in point: Sean asked his daddy one day, "If i drink a lot of water, will it wash Jesus out of my body?" Huh?! He is struggling with the idea that Jesus lives in his heart. So we get these kinda questions once in a while. Sure keeps us on our toes! :)
"I ask interesting questions don't I?"

Vote for Our Band Name

2009-09-28T23:41:00.004+08:00

We're finally getting a name for the band. But we need your help to decide which one. We've narrowed down to 2 names and here's your chance to be a part of the selection. Get to the vote site and make your selection. We're very excited to see the outcome.

Vote now - http://www.misterpoll.com/polls/453610

God bless!

Yummy cuppies!

2009-09-08T23:05:00.009+08:00

Do these look too good to eat? Yeah.
Do they taste as good as they look? You betcha!

My very dear friend gave me this box of cupcakes two days before Merdeka. Well, not to celebrate independence day but because she has a heart of gold and must always bring something when she visits.

Needless to say, the kids were really delighted with these lovely confections and could not wait to eat them! I, on the other hand, delayed eating them for as long as I could (which was not very long!) for they were so lovely!

Check out these other designs from the designer-baker-extraordinaire...

Aren't they just gorgeous? It's hard to believe they're cupcakes! Check out more amazing designs at http://www.whitedaisy.my

The Continuing Saga of Sean & Aidan - Bedtime Chat

2009-08-18T09:25:00.006+08:00

The room was dark and I was waiting for them to fall asleep when Aidan's voice floated in the night...

Aidan: Kor Kor, did you know that Mickey is a Mouse?

Sean: Yes, I know.

Aidan: But I don't know what Minnie is.

Sean: Minnie is a Mouse also la. Daisy is a duck. Donald is a duck. But I don't know what Goofy is.

Aidan: Goofy is a fox!

Me: Goofy is a dog la! (Aidan argued with me for a while but finally agreed).

"Who's been giggling? Not us, mummy! We've been trying to sleep!"

Aidan's take on Wonderpets

2009-08-02T13:14:00.001+08:00

Mummy, I know why they call the show the Wonderpets! Because, they're wondering if they'll get the pets!

- LOL -

Bahasa Malaysia

2009-07-31T17:04:00.002+08:00

Sean & Aidan watched cartoons dubbed in BM for the first time today. Wonderpets and Go, Diego, Go! They enjoyed the cartoons and didn't mind the language "barrier". They understand some BM but not enough to fully understand the cartoons. So I translated key words.

At one point in Go, Diego, Go!, Diego was running from a swarm of bees and said, "Sudah...." something or other - I can't remember. There were a few "sudahs" in the next few sentences. Apparently, Sean understood but decided to be cheeky. He announced, "Sudah kentot!"

So...MALE of him. Already embarking on toilet humour. *sigh*

When it rains, it pours

2009-07-28T23:09:00.004+08:00

So it rained yesterday. Actually, it POURED. For about 4 hours or more. I was gonna pick up the kids from kindy when it started. Got them in the car dry and buckled up in their car seats. Drove carefully cos of the rain. Visibility was poor. Everything was ok till about 3km from the kindy. I stopped at a traffic light and the cars in front of me started reversing and making u-turns. One of them almost hit me while reversing. I looked down the road - the rain had caused a flood of sorts - the road was almost submerged in water and one or two cars were stalled. I reversed and u-turned too and had to think of another route home fast.

It was harrowing because almost every stretch of road had huge catchments of water (Melaka boleh! Sorry, I just have to be cynical here) and I had to slow down and prayed that the car wouldn't stall and that no one would hit me from behind. The kids however were having a blast. Aidan would shriek, "Flood! Flood!" every time we went through the water and it parted in rather high "waves" on either side of the car. At one particularly bad patch, there was a thunk when the car hit the water and Sean screamed, "the wheel came off!" All these was not helping my frayed nerves one bit, thank you very much.

At one point we were coming down a slope towards a traffic light and I braked and....the brakes didn't work! My heart was in my mouth as I "buang gear" and tried to brake again. Thankfully, I didn't hit the car in front. I was near panic; what with trying to keep the car from stalling, trying to see through the heavy rain and concentrate through the excited squeals of the kids, now the brakes don't work?!

At the next traffic light, I remembered what my hubby told me once in another heavy downpour. "The force be with you!" Oh. Errr...that's not it. (I feel tense just blogging this so a bit of humour's good, eh?) He told me to pump the brakes to get it working again. And to rev the engine a bit to keep it from stalling. So I did and, wahla, the brakes worked. Phew! Praise God!

We made it home safe and sound with my legs a bit stiff from handling a manual car in such conditions and my arms stiff from gripping the steering wheel. Hooboy! Was I tense! I wish I was driving a 4WD instead of a compact car!

On a brighter note, the rain washed away the haze and it was wonderfully cool the whole day.

It sure ain't this boring in the car yesterday!

One flew over the cuckoo's nest

2009-07-27T23:30:00.003+08:00

Several days ago, my dad was changing the batteries in his faithful old clock that sits up on the wall in the hall. He remarked to Sean, "Maybe I should get a cuckoo clock, eh?"

And Sean said, "But what happens when the bird flies everywhere?!" LOL.

The Continuing Saga of Sean & Aidan - Bible stories

2009-07-26T21:53:00.002+08:00

We had read several Bible stories to them at bedtime and I asked questions to gauge how much they understood. It went something like this...

Me: So, why did God send the flood? And why was Noah & his family the only ones saved?
Sean: Because Noah was good and the other people were bad. They were Decepticons!

(Oh blimey! He's got robots on his mind!)

Me: Why was Adam & Eve sent out of the garden of Eden?
Aidan: Mmmmm...because they ate the wrong plants!
He saw my expression and raised eyebrows...
Aidan: Ahhh....because they ate the trees in the fruits!
My eyebrows must've gone higher...
Aidan: Because they ate the fruits in the trees!
Finally...
Aidan: Because they didn't obey God, they ate the wrong fruit.

Yummy nan-nan before Bible-time.

A crime of passion

2009-07-03T23:58:00.002+08:00

She first found evidence of the intruder a month ago. Then she saw the intruder a few times but it was brief, fleeting. It unnerved her that her private sanctum was violated.

It caught her by surprise; the rustling of fast feet, and then, there it was. Staring her in the face. She froze for a second. Then it was a race - she to grab a weapon, the intruder to safety.

The sound of the weapon being used and the smell of the poison added to the adrenaline rush of the chase. Finally, the intruder was cornered, disoriented by the poison. She looked at it and there was a brief moment of indecision. But she felt the outrage rising. How dare they enter and defile her home?

And so the intruder's life was ended with a few strong blows. As it lay wriggling, dying, she looked at it with disgust and swiftly disposed of the body. It was one woman against a bold, relentless intruder. It was a "crime" of passion.

The Continuing Saga of Sean & Aidan - Car Chatter

2009-06-28T22:37:00.002+08:00

We were passing the airport which is undergoing extension works...
Sean: Look! Two giant diggers!
Aidan: That means they are two bludders! (brothers! The "r" isn't rolling on his tongue yet. haha..)

On the way home from kindy...
Aidan: I didn't see E-Zen in school today
Sean: I did! I saw him in the bathroom.
Aidan: But I didn't see him in class!
This went on back & forth for a bit and then...
Sean: Hmmm...maybe I didn't see E-Zen. Maybe it was someone else.
Aidan: It was ME-la!
Huh?!! haha...

On the way to town...
Daddy to me: Hmmm....maybe I should keep my hair long
Sean: Ahhh, then can go kill lions!
Well! Proof that at least some Bible stories are sticking. Yay!

Sean learns to joke

2009-06-19T01:15:00.004+08:00

Sean is five years old and today i found out that he's learning to joke. We were driving home from kindy. Sean and Aidan were in their car seats in the backseat. Elyon Lee was riding shotgun. Aidan was calling, "Elilon! Elilon!" I tried to help Aidan pronounce it right. "Aidan, it's air-lee-yawn", I said. "It means he yawns a lot!" Sean teased. I didn't expect that but I told him not to make fun of people's names.

After we dropped Elyon off, Aidan suddenly said, "I have a new friend in class mummy!" He said it's a boy. I asked the boy's name. He wasn't sure but said, "I think it's Tee Shaw" (I'm guessing the spelling). "You mean the tricycle?" Sean quipped and laughed. I couldn't help a surprised chuckle. Of course he meant that Tee Shaw sounds like trishaw. Cheekiness!

Premonition?

2009-06-17T22:35:00.003+08:00

It's happened one too many times. Honestly, I'm a bit freaked. This morning, I was driving and reached out to switch on the radio. As my fingers touched the nob, the song, "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus flashed in my head. I turned the nob and....The Climb was playing.

Last month, we were at Putra Hospital, bringing the kids to see a paediatrician. We were walking into the lobby and the thought popped into my head that I'd see an acquaintance upstairs. I didn't give it a second thought cos it's highly unlikely...I met the person the day before and she was in the pink of health. BUT....there she was in the clinic next to the paediatrician's! I was stumped (managed to wave at her).

Then there was the time I was having breakfast at a roti canai shop. This pakcik asked if he could sit at my table cos there was no place else. We got to talking. He told me he was doing maintenance contract work nearby. Weirdly, I just had a feeling that he would pay for my breakfast and he did! I mean...the guy's a complete stranger! Why would I even have such a thought?!

Sometimes I'd just know that someone's gonna call and sure enough, they'll call not long after. Sometimes I know what some people will say. There have been many other weird instances but I can't remember them.

The world may call this women's intuition, premonition, etc but as a Christian...frankly, I'm at a loss what to make of it. What do you think?

Kids & God

2009-06-17T22:23:00.002+08:00

There we were, Sean, Aidan and I eating chicken rice for lunch. Out of nowhere Sean asked a question & it lead to very interesting comments. I'll try to re-cap it...

Sean: How did God get into my tummy?
Me: (huh?!)*Didn't say anything.Waited for him to explain that weird question*
Sean: God is here right? But we can't see His face.
Me: Yeah, He's always with us but we can't see Him.
Aidan: God is in my heart!
Sean: God is in heaven but here don't have heaven.
Aidan: God is in my heart!
Sean: How does God get in my tummy? So many things in my tummy already.

*I didn't answer Sean cos sometimes he just says things to be cheeky/funny. He knows we've never ever said anything about God being in his tummy!"

Aidan: God loves me you know! He loves me everyday! He wants us to be good. To eat vegetables, fruits, so that we can be strong!

*I smile & nod my head*

Macam Sharifah Aini?

2009-05-16T22:37:00.002+08:00

About three weeks ago, I went to the Peringgit Community Clinic because I had been coughing for over a month and also my wrists were hurting to the point that I sometimes could not hold a mug properly.

After a very long wait at the registration counter and another not-too-long wait at the waiting area, my number was called. The doctor was a young Indian lady. She looked quite fierce. Told her about the cough and wrist pains. She immediately started filling out forms for two types of tests - Sputum (to determine why the prolonged cough) and a blood test to test for rheumatoid arthritis. Because I occasionally suffer some pain in my knees, and other joints she said it was best to test for rheumatoid arthritis.

Now, I know one might think...arthritis? Doesn't that occur in older folks? Well, onset of rheumatoid arthritis is usually 40's to 50's but no age is immune.

So I went to the laboratory and they gave me three round containers to err...spit into. Wow....have to produce so much phlegm. I barely managed. Then it was on to the blood test. I was never afraid of the needle as a child, in my teens and as an adult. But strangely, these past few years, I find myself dreading blood tests and steeling myself for it.

So, there I was, a bit nervous. The nurse who was to draw my blood (heh! so dramatic) was a motherly Malay lady. She smiled and was friendly. As she tightened the elastic band on my arm, she said, "banyak juga tahi lalat di tangan awak". I smiled at her and said, "muka saya lagi banyak." She took a good look and, "eh ya la! banyak nya! Macam Sharifah Aini!" *chuckles*

I have no idea why I've so many moles. Its multiplied over the years. There are more than 15 on my face and neck alone. A friend who's a photographer said that she'd have a hard time taking photos of me because have to work hard to "erase the dots" afterwards. Ha!

Anyways, the sputum test would take 2 weeks and the blood test, six weeks. I went to collect the results for the sputum test last Thursday. The doc (a different one) took one look at the results and said that the prolonged cough was because of some "kuman." I asked what "kuman?" She just said "batuk berkuman". Duh! She prescribed an antibiotic that needed two doctor's signatures or the pharmacist would not release it. I am much better now though I have not finished the course.

Three more weeks to the blood test results. Hope its NOT rheumatoid arthritis.

A Tale of Two Toothbrush Holders

2009-04-26T00:44:00.005+08:00

So Sean and Aidan's happy & "comfy-cosy" in their own room. They still come to my bathroom to wash up because we haven't gotten them toothbrush holders for their attached bathroom. I had specific ones in mind. Last Sunday, we were in Jusco and I brought them to select their toothbrush holders. These were their choices. Can you guess which cute holder belongs to whom?

Well, Sean chose the blue rhino and Aidan, the cute Beagle. Needless to say, they were fascinated at the mechanisms of it. We taught them how to use it and they got the hang of it though Aidan hadn't perfected it.

One afternoon, they brought my mum to proudly show her their toothbrush holders. Suddenly Sean came running down with something in his hands. It was the Beagle...headless. He said Aidan got too rough trying to demo the use of the holder to my mum and it popped right off. Apparently, he opened and closed it again and again incorrectly and in a rough manner. I went to take a look and this was what I saw.

*Sigh* I felt sad. The poor Beagle. Just four days on the bathroom wall and already damaged. Luckily, it could be fixed and its now functioning well next to its rhino friend.

And that concludes the Tale of the Two Toothbrush Holders.

A room of their own

2009-04-01T21:32:00.005+08:00

Thursday, 29 March 2009 was a very special day. It was the day that Sean and Aidan finally moved into their own room. They've always slept in our room (on their own beds). We want them to move into their own room but didn't want to force them. Broached the idea with them a few times since last year but they were adamant - "We wanna sleep with mummy & daddy."

Thursday, 29 March 2009 something snapped, or rather I snapped because of somethings the boys did and I thought, "Ok, it's time they move into their own room so that I have some space." I admit, it was a lousy way to make a decision; when I'm mad but at that time I thought it was best for the sake of peace in the house. And so I huffed and puffed and moved the spare queen sized and single mattresses out of their allocated-but-turned-into-a-guest-room into my room and their mattresses into that room. All the while they were playing downstairs, blissfully unaware of what was going on.

Just as I was almost done, they came up and saw the changes. Sean quietly said, "Mummy, I don't want to sleep alone in that room." Aidan of course said the same. I quietly answered that I will discuss it with daddy after dinner and let them know how it'll work out.

Well, after dinner, we brought them to their room. They were apprehensive but curious. We explained that we'd always wanted to give them their own room and that we'd paint it soon - a fun color they'd like - we can decorate it with their artwork, move their books in, put in a new wardrobe soon, etc. They got excited and were soon running to and fro my room to theirs getting ready for bed, chatting and laughing.

As they were settling down to sleep, Aidan pronounced the room "comfy-cosy". And Sean agreed.

We sat with them till they slept and were expecting them to keep coming to us that night but Sean slept through the night and Aidan only came to find me at 5.30am. Brought him back to his bed and he went back to sleep. It's been that way ever since, Sean sleeps through and Aidan will look for me in the wee hours of morn. It was better than we'd expected.

The next day, another surprise - they didn't want me there for their afternoon nap. They said they could sleep on their own at daytime. Wah! So I left. After a while, I heard lots of giggles and sounds of them playing and they didn't sleep. But it was ok, I was just so happy at these unexpected steps of independence.

Now, our room seem empty without them. I miss them and Jason admitted he misses them too. Somehow the room isn't "comfy-cosy" without them. Haha! That's parenthood I think - bittersweet.

Unequipped for the job

2009-03-09T23:44:00.005+08:00

First of all, realize that children are naturally noisy.
Second, doing what comes naturally isn't "naughty" to a child.
Third, we ask too much of children, depending on their age, when we make them sit for long periods in chairs or high chairs.

The above excerpt is from the book "Have a New Child by Friday" by renowned Christian psychologist Dr. Kevin Leman. I agree with him and wish more adults are aware of the above facts.

Case in point: I was at a meeting in a church not too long ago. The children were given wee chairs right in the front row at the extreme right of the meeting hall. There were about 7 kids aged 3+ to 8 including my kids. There was a lady sitting there with them to "look after" them. She's one of the Sunday school teachers. I was seated a couple of rows behind them. The meeting lasted about 2 hours and I think that the kids behaved very well. They spoke to each other, moved in their chairs, read books, drew, played with small toys but one couldn't hear them and they were not distracting.

Apparently, the lady looking after them didn't think so. She kept hushing them and getting to them every time they moved or did something. I was really annoyed. I mean, does she expect them to be still as statues? They can't understand what the preacher was saying and I think that indulging in a bit of drawing, playing with toys and chatting is alright as they were doing it with minimum noise and movement.

At one point, she grabbed the pencil from a boy and told him to stop it just because he was showing his drawing to another boy and they were both drawing and chatting. I really saw red then but kept my peace. In the end, I think she was the one being distracting - moving always to hush and what not. The poor kids.

While I appreciate the fact that this lady and many like her sacrifice time and effort to volunteer in Sunday school, I wonder why can't they be trained/equipped for the job? They should understand kids and if not, at least be taught what to expect and not to expect from kids and how to handle them.

Tunggang terbalik

2009-02-22T02:10:00.004+08:00

Last week, Sean was pretty excited about The Donkey - an art & craft thingy he made at Sunday school. That night, Jason asked him to write his name on that paper. And he did - in an almost complete mirror-image! Only the last letter, "N" is not a mirror image.

We were surprised. We took a good look at him and he looked flat out tired. We realized that he didn't do it on purpose and it wasn't because he forgot how to write his name. He must've been so tired, his brain somehow just went a little hay-wire.

Sometimes he writes numbers and alphabets backwards when he does his homework. He'll look at the sample but still write it backwards. Eye-brain-hand processing/coordination gone hay-wire?

I recall that he sometimes draws trucks "backwards" too - with the back part of the truck first and the way he draws that rectangle part of the truck is from bottom right to left and up. Unlike the way a right hander would draw it and he's a right hander.

I find it all a bit perplexing but maybe it's like that with some kids at this age. Hopefully, he'll grow out of it.

My Valentine

2009-02-15T21:48:00.004+08:00

Yesterday was Valentine's day and it was just another day for us. No gifts, no date night (my hubby has been ill for 6 days) but that didn't bother me. However, sometime in the evening, I caught a look at myself in the full length mirror and I was really bothered.

You've heard or read it before, I'm sure - the term "letting herself go." It means women who've stopped taking care of their appearance after having kids or for whatever reason. Weight gain, unflattering hair, frumpy clothes, terrible complexion, etc. Well, that look in the mirror told me just that - I've let myself go. There are spare tyres aplenty, flabby arms, hard-to-groom hair, round face with desperately-need-a-facial complexion. *sigh*

I started grumbling that I look so aunty/ah mah. I've seen so many hot mums and I dunno how they do it (with lotsa help from the mighty moolah I suppose). I need a makeover - a new hairdo, facials, etc but it's all so expensive, *grumble* grumble* grumble*

My dear hubby assured me he loves me the way I am (I gave him the evil eye) and that he'd try his best to provide for a makeover of sorts. I said, I understand our finances and don't ask for much. And he said......"You don't ask for much but I want to give you much."

And there it was. The most romantic thing he's said in a while. It was Valentine's day yesterday. :)

Addendum : Some couples start looking like each other after years of marriage. Jason & I don't look alike (haha!) but often we dress in the same colors. Unplanned. Happened again today. Both of us ended up with brown tops for church. I guess the t-shirt he was wearing says it well : Same Same (front of tee) But different (back of tee). :)

Who am I?

2009-01-23T00:02:00.002+08:00

I've always envied people who are confident, different, sure of what they're to do here on earth and already happily at it, unafraid to stand out in a crowd...just comfortable in their own skin.

I on the other hand have always been uncomfortable in my own skin. Not a confident person, just another face in the crowd.

And lately, I've been even more unsure of myself. Somethings that were once a "sure thing" and a dream for me is now in tatters. The more I look at myself, the more I seem to fall short of who I really want to be.

I guess that's why it's so great that Jesus is my Saviour. But I'm still trying to connect the dots and emerge from my cocoon a proud butterfly, sure of what my Saviour wants me to do and fully able to do it for His glory.

Quite literally

2009-01-13T22:40:00.002+08:00

Children are so literal! Case in point...

My adorable Aidan has turned not so adorable since his third birthday last month. Like his brother, he's got the case of the Terrible 3's. Testing limits, defiance, etc. Especially when it's time to brush his teeth. Rule is we call once, they obey. Lately, been calling Aidan to come to the bathroom to brush his teeth but he's been disobeying.

Last night, he came when I called but with a slight grumpy look. I reminded him, " Must come when I call. What did Jesus say?"

Now, I was expecting "obey mummy & daddy" (from Ephesians 6) but Aidan said....

"Go brush teeth."

I had to control myself from laughing, put on a solemn face and told him, "Jesus said to obey your daddy & mummy."

So funny!

Majesty

2009-01-04T22:19:00.003+08:00

MAJESTY

Rising, I feel my heart sing
His praises, our Lord and King
The wonder, the majesty
Welcome the King of Glory in

PRE-CHORUS
Every tribe and tongue
Every land will sing Your praise
To the end of time we sing
Majesty

CHORUS
All majesty to the God of creation
All majesty God of all generations
This anthem we sing
To the God of all nations
All majesty we sing

We sang this song in church this morning. The first song of the first service of the year. And it's so apt. What a way to start the year! All Majesty, King Jesus! All glory to Him! Amen!

Christmas Man

2008-12-19T22:55:00.002+08:00

Ay, tis the season of gifts and giving again. Usually, I get into the Christmas mood by popping my all time favourite Christmas CD (A Christmas Story by Point of Grace) into the player. But this year, it's already 19 Dec and its quiet in my home. No Christmas songs. Just no mood la.

Anyway, we were surprised to hear carols just now after dinner. Turned out, the neighbour across the street had a bunch of carollers over. They are catholic, so quite a number of the carollers were dressed in red and had Santa caps on. There was of course, a Santa. Aidan and Sean were excited but we couldn't see much from our house. When the carollers were leaving, Sean and Aidan were watching from my front door and Aidan sadly remarked, "Mummy, the Christmas Man is leaving!" He meant Santa Claus. I didn't correct him cos I didn't want to get into who's Santa Claus. Not tonight anyway. I prefer my kids to know that Christmas is really about Jesus.

The carollers reminded me of some of the best times I had as a teen. I was in Evangelical Free Church then. Each year, we'd pack into a school bus and go from house to house singing carols. We'd do this for two nights at least. We'd be laughing and singing in the bus and enjoy the cool, windy night. We'd always be so full from all the goodies at each home that it's sometimes hard to sing. I remember, one house we went to, the host, a doctor handed out lozenges to everyone! haha!

Yup, those were really good times. Doing two of the things I love most - hanging out with friends and singing.

Psychology

2008-12-19T02:43:00.003+08:00

I find psychology fascinating. I've always had a habit of analyzing why people behave the way they do and sometimes even predict what they'll do or say. Dunno how or why I do that. Just seems like it comes naturally to me and I've been doing it forever.

Of course, I analyze myself the most. And most of the times, I don't like what I find. I'm still trying to be comfortable in my own skin after all this time (no, I'm not that old!) and sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be comfortable with myself.

I don't have a degree on the wall so much of what I analyze and perceive...I've no concrete proof whether its right or wrong but I've seen what a vicious cycle is and its one of the most horrible things ever. Sometimes I feel like I'm disconnected....head and heart has lost its link and I find myself staring at a monster. A monster that's been trying to get out of a cycle but might as well try to get out of a whirlpool unaided.

So. JESUS be my AID. I need YOU. Amen.

What Lies Beneath

2008-12-15T23:41:00.003+08:00

Aidan will be 3 years old this Friday. Time sure flies. My baby is no longer a baby. But he's still very cute. His vocabulary and observation has improved much these past months resulting in many funny, cute and endearing remarks or conversation. Today was no exception.

He woke from his nap but Sean was still asleep. He wanted to go to the loo and as I was dressing him after that, I thought I'd seize the opportunity to talk to him about wearing underwear. We wanted him to start wearing underwear sometime soon but so far he's refused. So, I told him its time he started cos he's a big boy now and etc. At first he wasn't keen and I left it at that. Then he said, "I want a red one". Oh boy, the ones I bought him were different shades of blue. I showed them to him anyway. All with Spiderman design. He pointed to Spidey and asked, "Is Spiderman wearing underwear?" Well, obviously, not on the outside like Supes but I said, "Yes".

He chose the dark blue one and after I put it on him, he looked pleased and said, "I'm so proud for my underwear" (I think he meant "of"). I was surprised cos he's not used the word "proud" before. And then, "I love my underwear because it look so nice. Thank you mummy, for buying my underwear."

After half a minute, he sat up and said, "Am I still wearing my underwear?" He lifted his t-shirt, checked and said, "Yes, I check edi, I'm still wearing my underwear."

After that, he proudly announced to Sean, my parents and Jason that he's wearing underwear cos he's a big boy.

Haha! So cute!

Works of Art

2008-12-08T16:45:00.008+08:00

It's the school hols and Sean & Aidan are bored. Well, they get bored during school days too but the bored-o-meter is much higher during the hols. My stress-o-meter is higher too. :) Anyway, Sean starts bugging me to give them art & craft to do. So I bought a box of water colours, a palette and brushes. They couldn't wait to start.

I wanted to show them something fancy so I cut ladies fingers and dipped it into the paint and pressed it onto the paper and...they weren't impressed. *sigh* They just wanted to get their hands on the brushes and paint away. (Good thing I didn't make potato stamps too).

So paint they did. It was shaky at first as they weren't used to brushes and each colour in the palette turned black because they got too excited to remember to wash the brushes before dipping into a different colour.

But soon, Sean got the hang of it and started painting trucks. What else?! That's all he draws and talks about. Trucks, trucks, trucks. Aidan was busy experimenting with colours and turned out some abstract pieces.

I took snapshots of the paintings and put it in my Facebook. Just click here.

Now, to put my thinking cap on for the next art & craft project.

Sean's playlist

2008-08-29T09:52:00.002+08:00

Sean developed his playlist when he started going to kindy. He'd want me to switch on the radio the minute he's in the car. The morning will begin with "Blesed Be Your Name" followed by "Better Is One Day" and "Heart of Worship" all by Matt Redman.

Then it's

"Everything that has Breath" (by Matt Redman)
"From the Inside Out" (Hillsongs)
"I Believe in Jesus" (Hillsongs Kids)

I have to listen to these songs Mon-Fri, twice a day. It sure got pretty tiring. For me. Sean would be happily singing along. He knows all the lyrics and even the ad libs! It can be pretty funny.

I was a tad worried that he was growing to be an "old soul" - these songs are all slow songs! I'd try to switch to some faster, rockier numbers but he'd steadfastly refuse. I'm his MUM and I prefer rockier tunes! Ha!

Finally, one fine day, he started showing interest in a couple of tunes by Tree 63. I was elated! Yeehah! My boy's startin to groove! And that's when the MP3 player in the car "died-ed". Aaargghhh! Turns out, it's the "car's fault"...some connection problem. *sigh* Hopefully, it can be repaired soon so that we can be rockin again.

Death

2008-08-09T01:18:00.003+08:00

A morbid title huh? But yeah, death's been on my mind more often than I'd like these past 2 years. Ever since I lost my beloved Ah Kong in 2006. Before that, I'd been pretty much "death proof" in that it hadn't touched me cos no one close to me had died. I'd witnessed people's pain as they've lost loved ones but I've never felt "it".

So, ever since Ah Kong went to Jesus, I'd had fears of losing more loved ones. I'd become more aware of our mortality....and of how "old" (they're actually not that old but y'understand) my parents are and that scares me. And I know, the day will come when they'll go home to Jesus and I'd be left here to grieve and miss them and honestly, I don't think I'd be able to handle it.

I worry for the safety of my husband as he travels to work on his motorbike. I'd never be one piece again if I lost him. And - all parents will agree - once I became a mum, I experienced not only joy but a whole new fear. Fear of anything bad happening to my precious babies. I agree with Nichole Nordeman on her album, BRAVE. She recorded it after the birth of her first child and it's in there somewhere, this fear for one's child and the need to be brave.

And then all the tragedies in the world these past years - Hurricane Katrina, the Earthquake in China where so many children died and most recently the terrible tragedy that befell Steven Curtis Chapman's family last May (they lost their youngest daughter in a tragic accident) - it's like a blinking neon light on this subject I've come to dread.

But I thank God for SCC and his family. As they walk thru this terrible valley, they've spoke up of the faith that has kept them breathing and they've shared this on Good Morning America and also, Larry King Live (it's on YouTube) this week (I don't think you can watch these interviews without crying).

I thank God for their courage to share in the midst of such pain and I've been redirected to my Father to whom I should share all my fears instead of letting them trouble or overwhelm me. For to be afraid of death is to make light of Jesus' sacrifice for me on the Cross of Calvary. To worry is to doubt his Word that He watches over us and that everything is in His Hands. We may not understand why things happen the way they do but I'm reminded that His ways are higher. As Mr. Chapman said in his song, God is God

God is God and I am not
I can only see a part of the picture He’s painting
God is God and I am man
So I’ll never understand it all
For only God is God

Amen

Aidan's first day at kindy

2008-07-07T23:19:00.008+08:00

Today was Aidan's first day at kindy. We didn't intend to send him to kindy this year. We thought next year when he'd be 4 (though technically only 3 cos he was born in Dec 2005). Last month, the principal of the kindy Sean attends encouraged me to consider sending Aidan for their 3 year old programme (it's called Sparklets) as they had an intake in June. Aidan was really excited about "going to school with kor kor" as he puts it.

He was really stoned this morning when I gave him his "nan nan". He actually rolled over and continued sleeping after he finished. I told him it was time to go to school and he immediately struggled to get out of bed. He was still pretty stoned at the sink getting washed and ready. It was really quite comical, the Garfield eyes and all. Once in uniform however, he was all raring to go. He called out a cheerful "Bye Daddy! See you later!" as we left the room.

At the breakfast table, he looked at his bowl of Honey Stars and said in an exaggerated voice, "Honey Stars! Beautiful!"

In the car, he was excitedly chatting and even let out a "Yee-ha!". At one traffic light, he commanded me to "follow that back hoe!" Sean was contently listening to his favourite playlist from the backseat.

When I pulled up at school, he asked in a small voice, "Can I bring Bear-Bear?" Now, I've prepared him beforehand that he can't bring his "Bear-Bear" and "Leon the Lion" to school. I reminded him and he quietly placed the Bear on his car seat and walked into the school, all excited. Teacher Michelle could not help but smile as he walked in...he looked so cute in uniform.

I was there throughout the assembly. Aidan was excitedly checking out the whole place (read: not participating in the assembly but wandering around). Just as the assembly was ending, he dashed into Sean's classroom. Teacher Betty told me it's ok, it's his first day and that they'll be able to handle him. So I snuck out and hid outside at the school porch.

Assembly ended and the students "choo-choo trained" to their classes. I could hear Aidan loud and clear - he doesn't like to "choo-choo train" because he doesn't like others hanging on to his shoulders - "Wei!" , "Go away!" , "That's not fair!" and "Where's mummy?"

They got him seated with the rest and proceeded to hand out the snacks. I could hear him asking for me and he sounded upset. I peeped and he was looking around for me, looking teary eyed and pouting. *sigh* My heart went out to him. My little boy looking so small and lost. Teacher assured him "mummy will be here soon". I left then. All in all, I hung around for about 45 min and he hadn't cried.

He was excitedly waiting to go to the playground with Sean when I arrived at dismissal. I asked Teacher Michelle how he fared. She smiled and told me that he cried after a while. "I want mummy! I want mummy now!" She carried him and he stopped crying. Put him down but he wanted to be carried. He told her, "My leg pain" (his typical excuse to be carried). Teacher asked him where and he pointed to some scar on his leg. He stopped crying for me when he was kept busy with things to do but would cry once the activity ended. Overall, teacher said he was very good.

Once in the car, he hugged Bear-Bear and was quiet for awhile before starting to chatter. But he dozed off halfway home. I could not wake him and laid him on the sofa.

Just now, preparing for bed, he was again excitedly stating "I go school again with kor kor!"

Aidan at the playground after school.

Tadika Permata Pintar's newest student - KO on the sofa at home!

Vege Tales!

2008-06-13T11:09:00.002+08:00

A few minutes ago, Aidan was on my mum's lap, "helping" to "kopek sayur". My mum pointed at the veg and asked him, "What's this?" (meaning what vegetable is this?). His answer: Vege Tales! haha!

Mangoes vs Bananas

2008-05-26T22:52:00.003+08:00

Sean used to love bananas. We used to joke that he'd go bananas at the sight of one. Unfortunately, his taste in food is changing. He used to eat all veggies and fruits but now he picks at the veggies and seem to like only certain fruits.

Anyway, one day, I was extolling the qualities of the humble banana to him. That it's got potassium...gives energy...brain boost...good for breakfast, etc. He listened without a word. Was quiet for a few seconds after and then he said....

"Mummy, you know ar....mangoes are very good. When you eat the mango and then you go to the playground ar, it helps you kick the ball better!"

What?! I never saw that coming! Of course it's his way of telling me that he loves mangoes and that I can't get him to eat bananas for breakfast.

Kindy secrets

2008-03-23T23:00:00.003+08:00

Last week, Sean & I were at his kindy playground. He was the only kid there. The rest were nearby and a few were watching him with envy (kids are only allowed at the playground if they're accompanied by a parent).

Suddenly, the two 6 year old girls who sometimes talk to him called him over. "Sean! Come! We have a secret to tell you!" They seemed excited. Sean dutifully walked over. They cupped their hands near their mouths and started telling him the secret. All I heard was, "Tell your mummy, she's...."

Secret told, they eagerly watched him to see if he'd come and tell it to me. He didn't. Just went back to playing. Of course I was curious to know the secret.

I asked Sean, "What did your friends tell you?"
Sean: Dunno.
Me: Didn't you hear what they said?
Sean: Dunno.

*sigh* The kid was totally not bothered! So like a boy to not get the whole "secret" thing! Aaarrrgghhhhhh! Curiosity kills the cat they say and at that moment, I felt like swiping claws at a nearby tree in frustration.

Don't Let The Pigeon Drive The Bus!

2008-03-13T02:13:00.002+08:00

Yup. That's the title of Sean & Aidan's current fav book. It's simple but fun because they can "participate in the reading" by yelling "No!" whenever the pigeon pleads for a chance to drive the bus.

Bedtime stories just got more interesting. :)

Spiderman, Spiderman

2008-03-13T01:20:00.003+08:00

Sean's favourite pair of pajamas is his "Spiderman one". Aidan wanted one too but we didn't get it till a few weeks later. That night, I laid out both pairs on the bed. I wanted to see if they'd notice. Aidan walked in, saw the pajamas and handed it to Sean, thinking that it was Sean's. Sean noticed that there were TWO pairs. And the commotion started. They were happeeee! Couldn't wait to put it on. And of course I couldn't wait to take the camera out.

Managed to get them to sit still long enough for these shots.

Even super heroes need to refuel.

Kyle XY Jr? Aidan & I checking out the snapshots.

For the first time

2008-03-09T23:35:00.004+08:00

Aidan said it for the very first time today. Curled up next to me. With Bear-Bear in his arms. With a cheeky smile. And his manja voice.

"I love mummy."

:)

Little pray-ers

2008-03-03T15:21:00.005+08:00

Sean & Aidan say a prayer, well, several prayers to be exact, before they sleep. They say a prayer for each other, one for mummy & one for daddy. Jason or I will say the prayers and they repeat after us.

Aidan will pray in the most manja voice. It just seems that when he prays, his voice becomes more manja than usual. It's so cute. And he knows not to repeat when we pray for him. He'd just have this cheeky-shy-smile on his face instead.

Anyway, a few nights ago, I was leading the prayer "session" and part of it went something like this....

Me: Please provide for our needs.
Sean: Please provide for our knees and legs.
Me: What?
Sean: Legs, mummy. Knees and legs.

Haha! I was so tickled but I had to control myself and not laugh. I explained that I'd said "needs" and not "knees." Of course Sean wanted to know what "needs" is and I had to explain. We usually keep our prayers short and use the simplest of words but I'd forgotten.

Aidan?! Kindergarten?!!!

2008-03-03T15:10:00.003+08:00

What?! Aidan? Go to kindy next year? That was my reaction when my sis-in-law mentioned it. Jason started to explain that Aidan's 2 years old and if we want to send him to kindy when he's 4, that's 2 years away, when it dawned on us.....

Aidan was born on 19 December 2005. That means, he's considered 3 years old this year even though he just celebrated his second birthday less than 3 months ago. That means...yeah, he's eligible for kindy next year. Nooooooooooo! He's still such a baby! Well, he may not be la, to be honest but in my eyes, he still is. I'm just adapting to the whole Sean-at-kindy thing. This is too much to fathom. Ha. *sigh*

Sean goes to kindy

2008-02-13T00:11:00.002+08:00

So, the time came for Sean to go to kindy. I couldn't believe it. Still can't. I mean, I miss the little, cute, smiley baby he was and the precocious, irresistable toddler he became but now he's a pre-schooler?! I hide in my "baby-Sean" memories and pretend I've never heard of that word (pre-schooler) but alas, I couldn't put it off much longer; my lanky 3+ year old (well, he's 4 this year but his birthday's in April and so in keeping with my theme of denial, I prefer to be notoriously accurate and say that he's 3+) son is ready for kindergarten.

We decided to send him to Tadika Permata Pintar (TPP). It's far - 25 minutes drive and expensive as it's using the Fungates system but we felt it would be worth it because Fungates also places an emphasis on character building.

3 January 2008 - Sean's first day at kindy. I woke him really early and to my surprise, he didn't make a fuss but was really excited. He wasn't jumping-around-excited but quiet-excited. I, on the other hand, was nervous. I was wondering how to help him adapt to kindy. Specifically, how to be on his own for the very first time in his life. TPP allowed parents to be with their kids for the first week only. So, I decided that I'd encourage him to make friends and try to distance myself bit by bit. But Sean stuck to me like glue.

We were early, in fact, he was the very first of his class to arrive. Teacher brought him to a round table and gave him building blocks to play with. Smart woman! Soon, other 4 year olds arrived (and they all look like 3 or 4 year olds where Sean was confused for a 5 year old. Turned out, he's the tallest in his class.) and were also given toys to play with. I tried to encourage Sean to talk to them but he didn't want to. I left it at that and just sat by him and started taking photos.

This is the first photo I took. Yeah, awesome isn't it? The first photo of his first day at school and he's showing off his glorious gums in an almighty yawn! heh heh!

In the next photo, he pulled a cheeky pose.

Sean's kindy hours are 8.15am-11.45am but the kindy worked towards it slowly. The first week, kindy ended at 10.00am. Next week at 10.30am and so on. It was easy going the first few days. More activities than actual lessons, to ease the kids into the routines of the class. Sean stuck by me the entire time. It was rather embarassing because by day 2, most mums had left leaving only 3 of us mums-with-sticky-kids....surrounded by crying kids! ha!

I decided to leave Sean on his own on day 5. I informed the teachers on day 4 and they were ready. Teacher Betty walked him into the school and I took off without Sean knowing. Boy, it was kinda difficult! I felt bad for sneaking off and was worried that he'd be difficult to handle. I almost cried. *sigh* Yeah, I'm a softie.

I was greeted by a very loud "Mummeeee!" when I arrived to pick him up. He was so happy to see me he ran to hug me and he wasn't angry with me for leaving him because....the teachers had told him I went for breakfast and was caught in a traffic jam. Huh?! Well, I wasn't entirely comfortable with that fib but I let it pass. The teachers told me he cried very loudly but not for too long. They gave him a sticker when he stopped crying. He proudly showed me the stickers he received for good behaviour.

All in all, he cried for 3 days. You could've knocked me over with a feather - I was that shocked! I was bracing myself for a week or two of tears and fears but Sean proved me wrong. I was so proud of him!

Now, I'm happy to see that he's slowly but surely making friends. And get this, whenever I go to pick him up after kindy, there'll definitely be more than one little voice yelling, "bye-bye Sean!" including one or two 6 year old girls! I have no idea how that came about! He'd proudly show me the stickers he'd collected for good behaviour. He'd pasted them on his hand but after a few days of "ouch-es" cos they hurt when he peels them off, he wised up and pasted them on his uniform instead.

Here are more photos taken during those first few days....

Sean in class. They were given a bean bag each and the teacher was encouraging them to be creative and imagine it was a boat, elephant, etc and then they'd sing an action song.

Snack time. At TPP, that means biscuits and fruit. Yup, fruit. Teachers would encourage the kids to eat the fruits by rewarding them with stickers.

The very best part of kindergarten - the playground! Sean was quite taken with these rings the first two weeks but he grew tired of them cos he was rather tall for it to be comfortable.

This is Sean's all-time favourite (though I can't see why). It's just an enclosure of sorts. This yellow-tee uniform is for Fridays - activity day. Mon-Thu, it's the light blue and pink uniform.

Sean gets some ideas from a 6 year old kid. The boy can do a full sumersault on those rings!

More kindy stories later!

Funk

2008-01-01T01:29:00.000+08:00

2008 is only an hour and a half old and I'm already in a funk. Actually, I've been in a funk for some time. Started sometime in October 2007, I think. Can one really put a finger on these things? Anyway, I had a difficult batch of students then and I was feeling discouraged. And I began to dread going to work. Still feel pretty moodless about work.

And then there was the accident. Yeah, I was in an accident on 27 November. Some stupid biker ran a red light and smashed into my car. Didn't pay a dime for the damages. That really got me upset. Still upset. Yeah, I should get over it but I'm not even trying. That's bad, I know.

I've not been in good health either. Toothaches, mysterious earaches, bloating, weird joint pains, hairloss, etc. Maybe my sleep debt has reached it's limit and my body can't take much more.

It feels like I'm just breathing, going through the motions but powerless to affect the things around me but everything and everyone around me have the power to affect me. I feel helpless. And tired. So very tired. Physically, emotionally spent.

What a way to start the new year.

Reminisce

2007-11-03T02:18:00.000+08:00

I grew up in a kampung. Wooden houses with attap roofs. We, kids of the kampung would spend most of our days outdoors. There were trees to climb, chickens and ducks to chase, places to explore.

I remember my favourite tree to climb. It wasn't very high and had broad, wide spread branches. At the base of the tree is a soft "landing" patch - it's actually sawdust thrown there frequently and over time it became a nice soft patch for us to land on. The tree was behind the saw millers house, hence the sawdust. He'd pile up the sawed up planks beside his house and we used to hide there with our toy guns, waiting to "fire" at our friends.

There was this little pond behind someone's house. We used to chase the ducks who swam there. And then it was off to play more hide and seek or just run around the "padang" nearby.

There were no traditional Malay houses in my kampung but there were some not too far away and I think I've been in one before. Anyway, I've always been intrigued by the unique structure and wouldn't mind checking one out again.

Unfortunately, kids these days don't have the luxury of such experiences. It's become too dangerous to play outside or go exploring. And we've been invaded by concrete jungles. To explore nature, we'd probably have to pay to explore the zoo or butterfly farm, etc. Luckily for Sean and Aidan, there's a kampung nearby and we go to a warung there for breakfast sometimes. There are lots of chickens, ducks, cats, and all sorts of trees to see.

My parents love to teach Sean and Aidan about nature and when they go for walks through this kampung and the surrounding oil palm estate, they'll bring back rubber seeds or an oil palm kernel or two. Once on the way to the beach, they stopped by a "sawah padi" to show the boys "where rice came from".

So....what do kids do these days? A whole thriving industry has emerged to help parents with that question (and to lighten their pockets too!). Toys are so "canggih manggih" these days and arts and crafts are all the rage. I tried arts & crafts with my boys recently. I taught them how to make a letter holder using paper plates. They had such fun and hung it up proudly for mummy and daddy to "post letters to". And post we did. I opted for cute notes and stick figure drawings (hey, art ain't my strong point!) while Jason took the easy way out and printed photos of him and the boys and dropped that into their letter holders.

Yeah, if you put your mind and energy to it, there's lots kids can do these days...indoors. As for me, whenever I pass a small kampung road, I can't resist the urge to explore. But most of the time I don't, unless Jason's with me. The world really isn't what it used to be. *sigh*

Cancer

2007-10-30T19:32:00.000+08:00

Someone said to me, "Cancer is like the common cold these days." She's right. The dreaded disease is common these days and its taking lives "like nobody's business".

Early this month, a family friend went home to be with the Lord. She had cancer. Last week, another family friend died of cancer. I lost my beloved "kung-kung" (grandpa) and my dad lost his brother within few months of each other in 2005 - both died of lung cancer.

It makes me mad and it makes me sad. And also scared. Tales of how painful it is and the thought of how it tears one from loved ones scares the hell out of me. And there's no cure. Doctors can't figure out what makes a cell mutate and turn cancerous. The best bet is early detection and treatment they say. And they say that science is progressing all the time and they are working furiously for a cure. But nothing in this world is ever 100% sure or foolproof. The only hope we have is Jesus.

So, yeah, I hate cancer. And I pray it will never take me or anymore of my loved ones in its claws of death.

Confessions of a bookworm

2007-10-20T23:33:00.000+08:00

I have a thing for the written word. I just love to read. Even labels on skincare, makeup or toiletries that I buy. Of course I love books. I come from a family of bookworms. We have to sneak books into my home. Dad or my brothers would bring a book home by hiding it in their bag but the rest of us know something's up when they disappear for sometime (to read la). Then, they'll hide the book so that we can't find it and we'll try to find it and read it when they're not around. Many a time there were exclamations of, "Who took my book?!" There'll be innocent expressions all around and giggles when the culprit was unmasked. And then the quest to get the book back begins. Threats fly and forgotten I.O.U.s or misbehaviour dregded up all in the valiant quest for the book. It's fun! It's unique to us and we treasure it.

Of course we'll all fight to be the next in line to read the book. Since I became a mum, I've been unfairly pushed to the last spot on the waiting list by my brothers. Imagine that! They all say the same thing - that I take "forever" to read a book so I might as well be last. Oh, the insult! I remind them that I used to be a fast reader (why, I finished SHOGUN in one day! Of course, I had a headache after that.) and that now I have kids to care for and housework to do so I don't have the luxury of curling up with a book anytime I want to. But I've resigned myself to my spot on the list. *sigh* Mum doesn't get involved in all these because she doesn't read the type of books we read but she laughs at our "book-battles".

When I was in primary school, I started reading the Encyclopedia of Britannica. I found the stories and articles fascinating. I can still remember a lot of what I read in those volumes. Strange that I cannot remember what I read in school books! haha! *sigh*

I raise Sean and Aidan to love books too. My dad - ambitious man - started a shapes & colors book with Sean when he was just 4 months old! I read to him before his naps & bedtime and from about a year old onwards, he'd refuse to sleep unless I read his favourite books to him, several times. Now, both boys would grab a book before bed and when they wake and harrass us to read to them. They have quite a collection of books between them. Many of the books are about trucks/machines since Sean is crazy about them and Aidan has followed in his footsteps. In my family, Sean is regarded as the authority on trucks. He knows the names of almost every truck/machine on the road and even the names of most of the parts. And they've got the cutest Bible ever (a gift from my bro, Daniel). It's a Toddler's Bible - very short interpretations of Bible stories and very, very cute illustrations.

Is it natural for people who love to read to want to write? I've dreamed of writing for a living but I don't think I'm good enough. Thinking of taking a writing course if I can find the time and the money. Who knows? I may see my name in print some day.

STORAGE!

2007-10-18T18:08:00.000+08:00

A place for everything & everything in its place.

I wish!

*sigh*

Darkness overtakes the earth

2007-09-26T02:19:00.000+08:00

The recent Nurin tragedy. The many unsolved cases of children brutally murdered. The 2 siblings who saw their mum murdered. They were only 4 and 6 years old and had just lost their father a few months ago (he committed suicide).

I can't breathe. My heart aches. My mind begs to go numb. I get nightmares. All this mindless, evil, violence. The pain the victims suffered. All the pain it leaves behind. Lives forever damaged.

I am afraid for my kids. My precious boys. I am afraid for everyone I love.

God help us all.

Father & Son Talk

2007-09-23T23:33:00.000+08:00

I don't know how other fathers talk to their 3+ year olds but a couple of hours ago, this conversation between Jason (who was tired) and Sean took place while they were playing.

Jason: Daddy can't think la.
Sean: Why?
Jason: Brain jam already.
Sean: Oh....battery weak already la!

Now, is that the kinda conversation you'd hear in any Malaysian home? Sometimes I think we may be a little weird. Whatever. As I've said before, kids say the darnest things!

How to escape nap time....

2007-09-08T01:50:00.000+08:00

Sean & Aidan have a bed each. On either side of our bed. It's hard enough getting them to take their afternoon naps - they'd want to play instead - separate beds is a must. Last Friday, Sean came up with a bright idea - "Aidan! Come & sleep beside me!" - no doubt a new scheme of his to escape nap time.

Sure enough, the two of them giggled and wiggled and did not sleep. Jason & I were cross, of course and scolded them but they did look so cute together that we got the camera and took a few shots.

I see....

2007-09-06T19:07:00.000+08:00

We bought Aidan a pair of sunglasses recently. He'd been trying to grab Sean's, so it was time he had his own. Of course, he was so taken by it. He put it on and didn't want to take it off. One night, I was bringing him home and he still had the sunglasses on. I asked him, "Can you see anything ar? So dark."

He replied, "I see....dark."

Aidan's just begun to talk not many months ago and his vocabulary and grasp of English is improving by the day. So, I was really amused that he understood what I said and replied the way he did.

Sean was pleased that Aidan has his own sunglasses. I caught them standing in front of the TV (it was not switched on), admiring their reflection. haha!

Cool dudes!

Fish Leg?

2007-07-27T01:21:00.000+08:00

I was having dinner with Aidan beside me. He looked over and saw a fried fish on my plate. He happily pointed to the fish & said "Fish, fish". Then he pointed to the tail and said something I didn't quite catch. He repeated the word and pointed to his leg. Then it hit me! He said, "Leg". Not knowing that it's called a "tail", he pointed to the fish's tail and said, "leg!" haha! So cute.

Pictorial (May-July 2007)

2007-07-21T23:56:00.000+08:00

Superman & his son :) A few minutes later, Superman zzz too but I didn't manage to get that shot.

Jason & his boys. See the resemblance?

The boys sometimes wear helmets and zip around the house on their "bikes".

At Ikano. These car-trolleys were a great blessing. Kept the boys happily occupied leaving us free to browse around without having to run after or carry them. Wish shopping centres in M'cca have these too.

Taken at Pantai Puteri just last Saturday. Aidan's first time at the beach since he was 4 mths old. He wouldn't step on the beach without shoes and wouldn't go near the water.

Sean with his new pair of jeans. He was so taken with it. He looks really grown up & bergaya in it. How do u like this pose? Can he model for Baby Guess or Osh Kosh BGosh? :)

Of course, we dressed Aidan in jeans too. He's using Sean's old pair.

Aidan's new look. It's called Smart-Cheeky. :)

The boys love to "help"out when I sweep or mop. Notice the Crocs on their feet? They love 'em! Imitation ones la.

No, it isn't Frodo & Samwise. Just Sean & Aidan enjoying cereal rings.

Aidan just loves to hug his Kor-Kor.

At Sunday school. Sean just started attending. Aidan tags along (and enjoys the snacks!). Here they're supposed to be doing some colouring. Couldn't resist the photo opp.

VeggieTales

2007-07-20T01:12:00.000+08:00

Sean & Aidan discovered VeggieTales. Well, they've heard the songs some time back but this week, they saw the VCD for the first time. And they love it! It's 2 stories about Love Your Neighbour. They loved the songs and especially this little segment in between the stories called Silly Songs With Larry.

Larry here is Larry the Cucumber. The lovable dufus. He sings the song, "Where Is My Hairbrush?" Sean just loves it! He finds it so funny. Aidan will clap at almost every song.

Now, if I sing the VeggieTales theme song, both boys will start giggling. Yeah, since becoming a mum, my repertoire of songs have been...interesting. haha!

I'm a TRAINER

2007-07-19T23:30:00.000+08:00

Yup, I'm a Trainer. For Microsoft. Haha...sounds so canggih, huh?

After a 3 year hiatus, I went back to work. Part-time. God blessed me with this job as a Trainer for the Microsoft Unlimited Potential Program. It's a Community Outreach program where Microsoft gives grants to NGOs and works with them to open CTCs (Community Technology Centres. Basically a venue with PCs la) so that the underserved can come and get PC lessons at really affordable prices.

One of those NGOs is YWCA Malaysia. So, I'm hired by YWCA Melaka to teach IT lessons and to run the program for them (Trainer is the label given by Microsoft. Just means IT Teacher la.)

What's great about this job is that I get to set the timetable and each course is about a month long only. This is really an answer to prayer cos I can't work 9-5 what with caring for Sean & Aidan.

I started last month and have taught 2 classes of Computer Fundamentals (Basic Word, Excel and Internet) to housewives and Senior Citizens (we take in anyone above 17 years of age). I was really nervous having never taught before, much less IT lessons and to adults! But it went well. I made mistakes along the way but I've been reassured by my "bosses" that it's normal and to learn from it and improve.

Now, I'm looking for the next batch of students. I get paid each time I finish teaching a class. So, have to work hard at bringing in students.

Amongst the housewives I taught were 8 Malay ladies. You can imagine the difficulty of teaching IT in English and BM but I managed rather well....campur aduk la. Not Dewan Pustaka kinda BM but hey, they understood me, that's all that matters.

During the lesson on using a search engine, I saw one of them searching for recipes. She found one Asam Pedas recipe and was copying it to her exercise book. I teased her about it, said that I like Asam Pedas and if she wants to continue copying recipes, she must cook some Asam Pedas for me. Lo and behold, she did just that! And that day, my mum cooked Asam Pedas as well. Double whammy!

Quite a number of the students were first time PC users. I had to be really patient as they struggled with the mouse, opening a file/folder, double clicking, right click, etc. Things I took forgranted having used the PC for many years.

I'm really glad I got this job. It feels good to get out of the house and do something on my own. Juggling the kids and this job hasn't been easy but my mum & hubby have been overwhelmingly helpful & supportive. Can't do it without them.

I'll blog more about my job later and maybe add photos too.

p.s. YWCA - Young Women's Christian Association

Change Programme!

2007-07-19T23:23:00.000+08:00

There's this thing I do sometimes, with Sean. I'd look him in the eye and say, "Who is it mummy loves?" He'll answer, "Sean & Aidan!" and I'd hug or tickle him.

I asked that question again two nights ago and this time his answer was, "Sean". Before I could say anything, he quickly added, "Mummy love Sean. Daddy love Aidan."

Jason who was with us, asked, "Eh why like that?"

And Sean replied, "Change programme!"

The continuing saga of Sean's funny lines

2007-07-10T00:39:00.000+08:00

Sean just keeps sprouting funny ideas and lines.

He was not watching the TV so I wanted to shut it off. I said, "I'm shutting off the TV, save electricity." He replied, "I can buy electricity. I have money in my coin box." :)

(Incidentally, this coin box of his is quite magical. The few dollars in coins it contains supposedly can buy an Avanza, cargo pants for my mum, lots of toys, and now, electricity! haha!)

The other day, my dad took Sean out for a spin in his Kancil. When they got home, Sean pestered my dad to bring him to the playground...in the Kancil. My dad prefered to walk there. Sean said, "I can drive. You just start the engine and I'll drive." hah!

Later that day, my dad (tired out from playing with Sean and Aidan) told Sean he's going to his room to take a nap. Not long after, my dad came down. Sean was surprised and said, "Eh? I thought you were supposed to be sleeping?"

I guess these "Sean-tales" in itself isn't really funny but what's funny is that a 3 year + old boy is saying them. Kids these days...

I am Mi-Mi

2007-07-09T23:56:00.000+08:00

At long last, Aidan calls me "Mi-Mi". I got home late from work last Friday, all tired out. Aidan wrapped his arms around my leg, looks up at me and in that manja voice of his, called me "Mi-Mi" for the very first time. I didn't feel so tired after that. :)

He started calling Jason, "Dadee" a day or two after that. Now, he delights in calling out "Daddee come!" or just "Mi-Mi!" out loud. He's quite a bossy lil feller too. Orders my mum about, "Por Por come!" Wants my dad to sit next to him, "Keng-Keng (can't pronounce Kung Kung yet) come!" and pats the floor next to him. Or it's, "Kor Kor read!" and waves the Bob Builder storybook at Sean. Sean will usually "read" it to him la. Sean will turn each page and point to the pictures and will recite the story from memory. It looks like he's actually reading! haha! And Aidan will sit quietly next to him and listen. So cute! Am trying to get it on camera.

It has been 2 weeks

2007-07-08T23:30:00.000+08:00

That was what Sean said to his dad two nights ago. We were in our car on the way home after visiting my in-laws when Sean suddenly said, "Daddy, my leg pain." His dad replied, "Oh, is it?" To which Sean very solemnly said, "It has been two weeks." We were really surprised because usually he'd say, "Ya, 2 weeks edi la."

A few minutes later, Jason said to me that his neck felt stiff. Before I could reply, Sean said, "You take cold ubat, Daddy. It will push the pain to the stomach." Where did that come from?!! He knows Jason takes medication for colds and its called cold tabs (tablets). So that's where the "cold ubat" came from but the other bit? Kid's say the darndest things! :)

About Mosquitoes & Potty Training 101

2007-07-03T01:45:00.000+08:00

Sean came up with a weird and funny idea on anti-mosquito repellent and "potty-instructions" today.

It was morning and there were mosquitoes buzzing around. I was irritated by them and Sean came to me and said, "Mummy, so many mosquitoes flying here and there la. Here, there, bite. Must use anti-mos (that's the repellent. It's a lotion.) and then when the mosquitoes bite, they died (he's still getting a feel of grammar!). And then they grow and eat vegetables!"

Later, we thought Aidan wanted to poop. I rushed him to the potty and took off his napkin and tried to get him to sit on the potty. Now, I'm having difficulty potty training him. The lil guy just won't sit on the pot when it's time to go but he'll sit on it at other times just for the fun of it! *sigh* This potty is shaped like a chair with handles at the sides. A proper "throne". haha!

Anyway, there I was trying to get Aidan to sit on the pot and Sean comes rushing in and said, "Aidan, I'll teach you to sit on the pot. First you sit down and then you landed and adjust and then berak!"

haha! The landed means when the bum touches the potty seat and adjust means adjust to sit comfortably!

I'm Wa-Wa (?!)

2007-06-24T00:44:00.000+08:00

Aidan began speaking a few months ago. Simple words like "tuck" (TRUCK), "there" and "ta-dah!" (ok, so that's not really a word). But these few weeks, it seems like he's suddenly got a speech-surge and he's sprouting many new words, sometimes a new word a day. He's even begun putting 2 words together like "make tuck" (when he wants us to fix a toy truck) or "want go".

The very first person he could call was my mum. His manja "Por Por" earned him many kisses from my mum. Then he started calling Sean, "Kor Kor". Then it was my dad-in-law's turn: "pa" or "ah pa" and sometimes a proper "grandpa" and recently, my mum-in-law: "ma ma".

There were a few times when he said "Daddy".

And me? I'm "Wa-Wa". Yep, that's what the cheeky little feller calls me. Not once has he called me "mummy". His yells for "Wa-Wa" comes loud & clear when he wants me. *sigh*

So maddening.

Sean's funny liners

2007-06-11T23:53:00.000+08:00

Sean has always amused us with the things he says. Here are a few of the latest funnies:

Sean always pesters my dad the very minute my dad gets home from work. These days he pesters my dad to draw trucks for him. So one day, as he was pestering my dad....

Me: Sean! Let kong-kong breathe a bit!
Not to be stopped, Sean continues walking behind my dad and was quiet for all of 2 seconds and then...
Sean: Kong-kong, you breathe edi ar?

Sean was excited about seeing Tom & Jerry (the mascots) on stage in Mahkota Parade but when he got there, it was not time for them to appear, so he was disappointed. He came to me and said, "Tom & Jerry cabut edi!"

And later, we drove pass the huge banner advertising the Tom & Jerry promo and Sean said, "Mummy, that cloth (the banner), they put there oni but Tom & Jerry not there. Cabut edi!"

Will add in more as they pop to mind... And will be adding new photos soon.

Personal DNA

2007-05-30T03:25:00.000+08:00

Hmmm....an interesting peek into my psyche. I don't agree with half of it. Maybe cos I took the test at 2a.m. plus! Or maybe cos I'm a pessimist. haha!

Dare to see what makes me tick? Click on the link below.

Full report:
My Personal Dna Report

My Joys

2007-05-29T02:03:00.000+08:00

Wake, wake, another new day
Lists running through my mind
Kids running here and there
A happy balance of work & care?
Tough being a mum
But I wouldn't do anything else
Wouldn't miss a smile, a word, a hug
Two precious gifts from God
Two very different little boys
And many different emotions each day
Wash, clean, care, prepare
And dream?
And then the music's on
And something in me stirs
When music plays
Something rises and I can't help but sing
And I soar (as I "roar"? haha!)
Oh Lord, how You've blessed me!

Smart Wonderland

2007-04-10T00:47:00.000+08:00

We can't go to Jaya Jusco without a visit to its playland - Smart Wonderland. Sean just loves the place! Especially the ball-room (haha!). One has to climb a bit to get to this place full of multi-colored plastic balls. The climb itself is fun for a kid, I suppose.

The photos below were taken last month.

Sean jumps in. Camera caught him in mid-air. Cool!

Jason swooshes Sean around. The kid loves it!

I love this photo!

Finally! A photo of Aidan & I. (That's Aidan's "camera face".)

Aidan enjoys "driving" around.

Whims & Fancies

2007-04-07T00:57:00.000+08:00

Today, I was just thinking
About everything & nothing
As I usually do.
And I realised that I'm happiest
reading a book,
singing my heart out,
writing down whatever whimsical thing I think of.

But sometimes being happy just isn't enough
There's pressure to make it count
Sure, reading a book's fine,
when I have the time.

But what about singing and writing?
Can I make something of it?
Can I be a writer?
A singer?

Wow! Just the very thought!

It makes sense doesn't it?
If I can make something of it,
I can justify indulging my time & effort in it.
And not feel guilty wasting time that can be better spent
Earning money to make ends meet?

How complicated can life get?
That I feel bad in indulging in such simple pleasures?

I guess I just want things in neat, pretty packages
If I can turn my passion into my occupation,
I'd be tackling my needs & wants with one blow.

Alas! Tis not to be.
For lil old me am but ordinary.
Not unique, not gifted
Just ordinary.

Not a lousy singer,
just not a fantastic one.
Not too bad at writing,
just not good enough to be a writer.

And so, it ended -
- another bout of day dreaming -
as it usually does,
with a painful jolt to reality.

Aidan's 1st birthday

2007-02-11T00:55:00.000+08:00

Aidan turned one years old on 19 December 2006. I looked at him and found it hard to believe that the little baby I cared for entirely on my own (for the first few months) was now a toddler. We had a party for him on the 15th of December.

That day didn't start well. I had contracted a lady to clean house for me that morning. Jason went to pick her up but she did not show up. Couldn't get through to her handphone either. I had called her more than once to make arrangements & remind her. We were very frustrated. So, we had to clean house ourselves. It's not that we could not do it. We just wanted less on our plate so that we wouldn't be so tired & stressed (lesson learnt from pass birthday parties).

And then there was the food. The last birthday party we held, there wasn't enough food. So, we didn't want to make the same mistake this time. Unfortunately, the people who cooked the food were a bit too generous and we ended up with so much leftover. Managed to give quite a lot of it away but we still had to eat the same food for the following 2 days. haha!

Aidan enjoyed himself running after food (yup, that's Aidan) and paddling his new three-wheeler ala the Flintstones. When it came to cake cutting time, he left his mark. I was carrying him and got too close to the cake. He took a swipe at it...with his foot! I had to cut that portion off. Everyone was laughing. It's just so Aidan. Always curious and getting his hands (and feet) into things.

After almost everyone had gone home, we cleaned up with the help of a very, dear friend. We were so tired by then. Aidan was tired too and Jason put him in the "sarong" to sleep. I was in the kitchen then and was shocked to hear a crash followed by Aidan's cry of pain. Somehow the spring holder that the "sarong" was attached to gave way & Aidan crashed to the floor. Poor fella was crying hard for a while but there weren't any injuries, thank God. What a way to end his first birthday party.

The birthday boy on his brand new tricycle.

Sean, up close & personal.

The toe-test; the most stringent test in baking history. Haha!

One of the things I miss the most

2007-02-11T00:43:00.000+08:00

You know how a particular smell or song can trigger a memory? Well, I experienced something like that about 2 months ago. Only, it wasn't just one song & it triggered more than a memory.

We were visiting a church that Sunday. During worship, the songs they sang weren't new but by the second song, there was just something in the atmosphere that triggered such a longing in me. It was like someone pulled apart heavy curtains & windows to let sunshine & fresh air in. I could worship freely. I felt such liberty in that place. The longing I felt was akin to a dry well being filled again. I remembered what it was like to experience such worship and wanted it again.

And then several ladies up front took up timbrels with long ribbons and danced. When I saw the ribbons in the air, the longing deepened. I used to dance with a timbrel too. Many years ago. The songs, the timbrels...it brought back what I've missed so dearly - the worship experience in an atmosphere of freedom.

Tom the Tortoise (many months ago - 11 December 2006)

2006-12-13T00:19:00.000+08:00

Tom the Tortoise died yesterday. We suspect he died of upper respiratory tract infection (URT). A cold.

For the longest time, Tom just refused to eat and would just sit on the little stone in the aquarium day after day. Jerry, the other tortoise, grew and grew but Tom stayed the same size. We got worried & tried other kinds of food but Tom still would not eat. We suspected then that he was sick and placed him in a separate container. Jason searched the net (?!) and found that Tom's symptoms or behaviour indicated URT infection. But it was too late to save him.

Sean knew for several days that Tom was sick. "My tortoise is not feeling well," he'd say to my mum & brothers. So, when Tom died, Jason solemnly broke the news to Sean. He took it matter of factly. I guess death doesn't register much to a toddler. He followed us outside to bury Tom. And that was it.

Sean & Chloe

2006-12-01T00:37:00.000+08:00

Chloe is Sean & Aidan's cousin. She is only 2 months younger than Sean. She lives in PJ so we don't see her much. During the Hari Raya hols, she came for a visit. Funny thing is, Chloe & Sean often times end up "color coordinated" - we mummies somehow dress them in clothes of the same color without meaning to. Here are some photos of her & Sean.

Blowing his own trumpet

2006-11-25T01:15:00.000+08:00

One day, not too long ago, Aidan found a toy trumpet in the toy box. He got curious and after a demo by someone (I can't remember who!) he tried it himself. He put his lips to the mouthpiece and blew. And there was sound! Yeah, it was a "cheap-plastic-toy-squeak-kinda-sound" but he was hooked!

He kept blowing the lil toy trumpet day after day. Mind you, there was lots of drool produced in this daily endeavour! My parents were tickled pink and thought he was rather smart cos most babies his age don't really get the concept of blowing into an instrument.

And then one day, Aidan decided to whack the trumpet on the floor besides just blowing it and the mouthpiece cracked. That was the end of his short career as a trumpeteer! haha!

Tales & Travails: Transportin the kiddos

2006-11-25T00:02:00.000+08:00

Everytime we go shopping, I see parents pushing their kids around in strollers. The kids would be sleeping or quietly sitting/lying in the stroller observing their surroundings & the parents would be free to shop.

My kids on the other hand, ...

I still remember trying to shop with Sean in his stroller when he was 3 months old. We were in Tesco. He didn't like being in the stroller & would fidget or cry. As he grew, we didn't have much success keeping him in the stroller. Most times he'll sit in it for a bit & then start bugging us to carry him. So we'll be lugging him and the stroller. He wouldn't sit for long in the shopping cart either.

Then when Aidan was old enough to be in the stroller, Sean of course has to decide to assert his claim on the stroller. So the "big buffalo" (Sean at 2yrs +) would go in the stroller & I'd sling Aidan in the sarong sling. This way, we manage to get some shopping done. Sean would even fall asleep in the stroller (a feat we only dared to dream of when he was younger).

Aidan has been in the stroller once or twice and seemed to be really excited about it. Lately, he's been having a go at sitting in shopping trolleys and seemed to enjoy it as well. A good thing. He's getting a bit heavy to sling comfortably for long.

Sean was trained from infancy to travel in a car seat. Aidan on the other hand, was not, for lack of a seat belt to fasten the car seat in the back seat of the car. Lately, we've begun training him and let's just say there's still some way to go before peaceful car trips can be enjoyed.

At Tesco. Aidan's snoozing in the sarong sling.

The one & only time we managed to get Aidan into the baby-seat of a shopping trolley. He didn't stay in it for long.

The first time Aidan was put in the car seat. He cried & fretted & finally fell asleep!

Tom & Jerry

2006-11-05T02:21:00.000+08:00

A few months ago, Sean suddenly asked for a pet tortoise. He bugged my dad so much & that very evening (granddads can work wonders) my dad came home with 2 small tortoises. Needless to say, Sean was terribly excited.

He faithfully fed them each day but left the cleaning of the aquarium to his dad - smart choice. Every few days he'll tell his dad, "Daddy the tortoises dirty edi. Please wash!"

My dad asked him to name the tortoises. He was rather stumped. So, my dad gave him a choice of "Jack & Jill" or "Tom & Jerry". He chose "Tom & Jerry". At Sean's age, gender isn't a big deal so we all happily call the pets Tom & Jerry without knowing for sure if they're both males. haha!

Sean's been watching Animal Planet. Lately, he's been saying, "Must ask kongkong (that's my dad) buy shark!" Or elephant, or snake, or crocodile....whatever animal's being featured that day! One day it was an elephant and so I asked him, "The elephant is so big! Where will it stay?" He thought a bit & replied, "Elephant can sleep on daddy's bed!" I laughed my head off! And he continued, "can eat worms!" See, to Sean, all animals eat worms! hahaha!

Tom & Jerry

ENOUGH

2006-10-17T01:13:00.000+08:00

CHORUS:
All of You is more than enough for
All of me for every thirst and
Every need You satisfy me
With Your love and all I have in You
Is more than enough

You are my supply
My breath of life
Still more awesome than I know
You are my reward
Worth living for
Still more awesome than I know

You're my sacrifice of greatest price
Still more awesome than I know
You're my coming King You're everything
Still more awesome than I know

Breakdown/Ending:
You’re enough, You’re enough
You’re enough for me

Song by Chris Tomlin and Louie Giglio
Sung by Barlow Girl (the version I know anyway)

Lord, thank You for songs like this that help me express my heart. It's hard for me right now to say that You're Enough for me. I'm really struggling with that, but somewhere, some small part of me is crying out this song. So, there's hope for me yet (that's me "speaking to me". I know there's hope because of Your finished work on the Cross). I'm finding my way back. Hold me close, dear Lord.

Bob the Builder

2006-10-16T23:34:00.000+08:00

Sean's a huge fan of Bob the Builder. Actually, Sean hardly watches TV. He prefers books & we prefer it that way but all that's changed now. It started innocently enough some months ago.

An electrician came to my parents' home to do some wiring & Sean, being afraid of strangers, was clinging to me. Just to distract him, I switched the TV on. Bob the Builder was showing. And that was it. I think what attracted him to that cartoon was all the trucks in it.

Now, he watches Bob everyday. He has a Bob story book, coloring book & stickers. He knows the names of each truck & character & he knows a bit of the song too.

Recently, his grandpa bought him a toy excavator large enough for him to sit on. It came with a yellow construction helmet. Yup, just like Bob's. Sean was delighted.

Sean on his tractor. He named it "Scoop" after the tractor in Bob the Builder.

Aidan's not to be left behind. Here he is playing with Sean's toy tools.

Want me to carry him?

2006-10-12T01:12:00.000+08:00

That's what Sean says each time Aidan cries. He'll come to me, lift his arms (like we would to carry a babe) & ask that question. It's so cute & sweet. All the more because he can't carry Aidan. :)

Sean's "changing" again. He's becoming more independent. Last month, he suddenly started putting on his shoes by himself, feeding himself (alas, this happens only when he's in the mood), drinking water from a cup, putting on his pants - hasn't mastered this yet. Usually he gets both legs in one opening & starts struggling. Yesterday, I discovered that he's been watching me do the dishes for he suddenly washed (or rinse) his cup (plastic cup, of course) the exact way I do it. It was so cute. Of course it's also a great excuse to play with water, so he'll be "washing" one cup or bowl after another (even grabbing clean ones to wash) while my mum yells at him to stop. Kids....trust them to turn work into fun-time.

Lately, he's turned all "politey-gentlemanly" too. He'll rush to open the gate for me without being asked & announce with a loud voice, "I open gate for mummy already!" He's learning to ask for things properly instead of whining. It's usually, "Please can I have bread with jam" or etc, but it can get confusing for him with funny results. Like tonight. He asked my dad, "Please can I have can you bring me home?" :)

I love my boy! Wish I can capture all these candid moments on camera.

Sean's first science project

2006-10-07T01:34:00.000+08:00

My dad thought it would be fun to do a simple science project with Sean. So he got some green beans & planted it in a container with wet cotton. A few days later, out came bean sprouts.

Sean didn't know what to make of it. He listened to my dad's explanation & suspiciously eyed the bean sprouts. He peered at it for some time & finally said, "Eeeee! Geli!" Ha!ha! So much for science!

What's become of the human race?

2006-10-07T01:19:00.000+08:00

I am afraid of reading the news these days. Too much mayhem & murder. Too much ugliness in the world. In humans. It's inhumane.

Recently, the murder of a 19 year old student & the murder of a 3 year old toddler. They died horribly. Probably at the hands of people they trusted. News like these give me nightmares. They affect me for days on end. I cannot get it out of my head...& heart.

Now that I'm a parent, I cannot imagine the effects of such tragedy. I cannot imagine that humans can be so cruel. I think the pain is too much to bear.

Dear Lord, help us! Help us to be strong to pray against such evil inflicting our nation. Build in us courage to get down on our knees to pray for Your intervention. And protect our loved ones each day.

I'll steer clear of the news for some time. It's too painful.

It was a grand field

2006-10-06T00:50:00.000+08:00

We went to Melaka Megamall for the first time last Sunday. It's rather grand - the interior & exterior. Wide corridors, swanky shoplots, a grand fountain at the concourse area (yes, inside the mall), a huge MacDonalds, etc.

Yet, I felt a bit sad. The Megamall is standing on what used to be Padang Pahlawan. It's a historic field. It's where our first Prime Minister declared "Merdeka! Merdeka!" It's also across the road from Sacred Heart Convent-my alma mater.

I remember just lazing under the big trees by the side of the field after extra curricular activities. Buying kacang putih or drinks from the vendors that pass by. Participated in Merdeka celebrations held at that field too.

Our church youths used to play football there on Sunday evenings. We girls tagged along to jog or just to hang out.

It was a grand field. And now, it's reduced to barely any greenery, parking lots & the Megamall. *Sigh*

It has begun

2006-10-01T00:05:00.000+08:00

The "war" that is. Aidan began grabbing Sean's toys or anything Sean touches about 2 months ago. Sean retaliates by screaming, grabbing it back & Aidan will then scream. *sigh* I didn't expect this for another few months at least. Aidan notes that Nemo is Sean's best pal & will make extra effort to grab Nemo & when he's successful, he'll wave it in the air with a very cheeky smile as if to say, "I got it! I got it!"

Nowadays, Sean grabs any toy Aidan plays with. *sigh* But there are times he'll willingly share his toys with Aidan. Selected ones la.

If I can't get Nemo, I'll grab Bubbles!

Sean's in the shower. Quick! Grab the truck!

Aunt Sharlene

2006-09-28T23:46:00.000+08:00

This is Sean & Aidan's Aunt Sharlene. She's....not available! haha! (ok, ok,....she'll kill me, so I'd better not say more).

Aidan goes mobile

2006-09-25T00:00:00.000+08:00

(This Kung fu stance is called the "mattress chop")

Last month, Aidan started to sit up by himself and a week later, started to crawl. To maintain his balance when he sits, he opens his legs really wide & sometimes executes a mean, acrobatic split that Van Damme would approve.

(Here he is crawling on the bed. Yes, he's a happy boy - lots of laughter & cheeky smiles)

The first time Aidan's in a baby chair. At Wilson Chicken Rice, Bachang. No, he's not eating chicken rice!

Hot wheels. This is Aidan's walker (on loan from his cousin Chloe). Canggih eh? Comes complete with a blinky light panel that plays music.

Trucks!

2006-09-24T23:45:00.000+08:00

Sean loves trucks. It started with the simple lorry. After a while he called it a truck. Bit by bit he expanded his interest to other kinda trucks or construction vehicles. Now he can identify & pronounce these - cement mixer, excavator, tipper truck, crane, forklift, steam-roller, contenas (did I spell that right?), garbage truck, oil tankers & trailers.

We stay quite far away from the town centre & there are always a lot of trucks & the above vehicles. Sean's always excited to see them.

He has toy trucks too - an oil tanker, a cement mixer, 2 tipper trucks, 2 excavators & a crane. Here he is with 5 of them arranged neatly (by him) by his bed.

(It looks like Sean has a moustache doesn't it? It's actually a mild rash)

The things that goes on my head....

2006-08-08T23:12:00.000+08:00

Aidan inherits Sean's cap.

That's a bip on his head. He looks so sweet huh? hehe!

Of fruits & veg

2006-08-08T22:58:00.000+08:00

Sean loves to "kidnap" the fruits & veg that my mum buys. He'll put them in his car or bike or display them on the table ("Sean's veg stall" as my bro calls it) or just brings it around with him.

Looks like Aidan's following in his bro's footsteps. Here he is "nibbling" on a carrot. haha!

Hot wheels

2006-08-08T22:50:00.000+08:00

Sean on his car. He can go really fast and take corners like a pro. He loves to stash stuff under the car seat...marbles, Nemo, toys, fruits & veg (no kidding!).

Sean got this bike a couple of months ago as his 2nd birthday present from his grandparents. He can zip around quite fast on it too. And yes, he stashes stuff in the basket. He'll say he's bringing the item for "a walk" or that he's gonna go sell it . Can you see the carrot in the basket?

Aidan's just got on the walker this month. At first he can only move backwards. Now he can go in all directions and leave a trail of destruction!

Side by Side

2006-08-08T00:06:00.000+08:00

Sean & Aidan are the "tidur nakal" type. They toss & turn & "tour" their beds when they sleep. So we were caught by surprise when one day they ended up sleeping peacefully side by side.

Introducing...

2006-08-08T00:02:00.000+08:00

Sean's first soft toy was Benla the bear (see earlier posts) & now he has Nemo the fish. As for Aidan, his first soft toy is......

Leon the Lion!

Mini World Cup

2006-08-07T23:59:00.000+08:00

Makan Bola

Tidur Bola

Tangkap Bola!

More Sean-isms

2006-07-18T23:21:00.000+08:00

Sean sitting on the throne (doing business), holds a squash ball to his nose and says: This kinda thing smells!
(huh? The ball or the....?)

Sean sticking his overturned car with Ali Baba cards: Mummy, I repair my car!
Mummy: Oh, what technology are you using?
Sean: Psychology!

Sean to his kungkung: Kucing eat fish, and tomatoes and tou miao (a kind of veg) !

Was gonna wash him up one morning and he says: Let's take off this smelly pampers!

Sean announces one day: My bicycle is stubborn!
And a little later: My car is very stubborn!
(I have no idea why!)

Jason went to Penang sometime in May to wor. Since then, Sean has been fascinated with Penang. Here are some of his "Penang remarks".

Sean: I drive van, go Penang.
Mummy: Oh? For what?
Sean: I work!
Mummy: What work?
Sean: Sell food!
(for the life of me, I have no idea how he thought of that reply!)

Another day, he again says he'll go Penang to work. This time it's to "do computer". Must be because he sees Jason repairing PCs!

Last week, he again announces he's going Penang. This time Jason converses with him...
Jason: Oh? When will you be back?
Sean: This week.
Jason: What day?
Sean: Thursday.
Jason: What time?
Sean: 12 O'clock!
(We had such a laugh! All his answers "pakai tembak only" but was so candid and funny!)

My mum scolded him cos he was just too busy running around, messing things...
Por por: You ar, tak senang!
Sean: Memang tak senang!
(This caught us by surprise cos we didn't know he knew the word "memang")

Sean to Aidan when Aidan scooted down from the bed to the floor ...
Sean: Aidan, you so terrible. So cranky! So cranky-ble!

Will add more when I can remember...

Stay

2006-07-18T23:13:00.000+08:00

You watch over me
And most days, Lord, what do You see?
Here I go again, running at the first sign of pain
When the best place for me to be is here
In Your arms
You carry me
But it seems I can't stay longer
Than it takes to talk it out
Then it's off I go again
My solutions, my strength
Till I run out, fall down and
Here I am again, come to complain
I know You want me to stay
Let things go
Your way
More than listen, You're working
In me
So that I learn to stay
Here, with You
To learn, to obey, to love
You watch over me

Shutterbugz

2006-06-06T01:19:00.000+08:00

Latest photos of Sean & Aidan...

Sean with mummy & daddy (& Uncle Allan) at the Melaka Zoo - Feb 2006

May 2006: Sean (25 months), Aidan (5 months)

June 2006

That's Nemo & Benla on Jason's guitar.

Nemo is hardly ever separated from Sean.

Sean with his grandpa (Jason's dad).

Whoosh!

2006-05-13T17:14:00.000+08:00

How time flies! Whoosh! I'm now 30 going on 31.Whoosh! I've been married 7 years! Whoosh! I have 2 kids! Whoosh! My firstborn is already 2 years old. Sigh.

Wish I could...
relive and savor again the happy times
undo the wrong I've done
skip the bad times

I miss the carefree days. Get home from work, unwind, dinner and maybe catch a movie or just hang out with friends at mamak stalls. These days I can hardly leave the house without the 2 kids in tow. Just to have my hair cut required careful planning and the help of my mum to look after Sean. Me time? WHAT'S THAT?!

But I do enjoy being with my sons, watching them grow. Of course caring for a 2 year old and a 4 month old can be really tiring and stressful, even with my mum's help. I've recently got shingles - a mild case, thank God! - and I think it's due in part (a large part) to stress and poor health (lack of sleep).

I realise though how not many mums get the opportunity to spend time with their kids like I do and I am thankful.

We do still keep in touch with friends via the net and we do hang out once in a while (yes, even at mamak stalls, with the kids in tow!) and watch a movie now and then at home so it's not all that bad.

I wonder though if I'll ever again pick up a mic and sing (in church, on stage, etc). It's been more than 2 years since I did that and I'm now rather, no, very, rusty....pitching all over the place, breathing kaput, etc. But it's great hearing Sean sing and watching him dance.

Whoosh!

SMILE

2006-02-12T23:00:00.000+08:00

Sean has a peculiar way of saying "smile". It sounds like "se-mile". He likes to say the word and then give a cheeky smile. It used to be rather dificult to snap a good photo of him cos he'd not stay still and smile for the camera. He'd run towards us and ask to look at the camera instead. Recently though, he'd sit still for a few seconds and smile for the camera if we ask him to. Below's two shots taken a couple of days ago. He just woke up in the morning, hence the funny hairdo.

The boys in RED

2006-02-09T23:44:00.000+08:00

Chinese New Year and all things red. Here are photos of Sean & Aidan in their CNY clothes.

Jason's website

2006-01-02T22:34:00.000+08:00

My hubby, Jason, has his own website. There are more photos of Sean and Aidan there. Just click on the link below.

http://www.geocities.com/kingja_lah/